rhett and link – epic rap battle كلمات اغاني
link: first off i wanna tell you i enjoyed the pizza
well it really wasn’t great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
i’d like your number
but i’m not gonna leave a big tip to get it
rhett: that means he’s cheap and pathetic, and if you date him you’ll regret it
twenty-three percent from me communicates
i’m generous, not desperate, and i can calculate
link: is she supposed to be impressed?
rhett: well if you want a battle be my guest
link: i’m a computer programmer and a cubicle dweller
i disabled spell check cause i’m a stellar speller
when i write an e-mail that includes an attachment
i never hit “send” before i’ve attached it
rhett: your job is a bore
i keep it hard core
selling knives and insurance from door to door
you’re reflecting on a water cooler conversation
i’m giving an incredible knife demonstration
rhett: may i interest you in some accidental death coverage?
or a hard boiled egg slicer?
link: i can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
rhett: egg slicer
link: i car pool
cuz i’m environmentally sensitive
i pack a snorkel cuz i’m clever and so invent-tive
rhett: it’s inventive, invent-tive isn’t a word
link: yeah i just invent-ted it, you just got served
rhett: well when i car pool, i take a group of third graders
on my way to work i teach them multiplication tables
see i’m a role model, an example to the youth
link: then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
link: at the gym people line up just to give me a spot
all eyes on me when i’m poppin’ a squat
my career plan b is to teach p.e
the model on the machine is based on me
rhett: i’ve mastered the art of mental manipulation
working every muscle group through meditation
this is me working out my triceps
pick up my dvd called “mind reps.”
link: my sense of style, is sweet like syrup
it’s not uncommon for people to think i’m from europe
rhett: i don’t follow the trends, i’m a style pioneer
see this turtleneck with a necklace? you’ll be wearing this next year
rhett: is that all you got?
link: nope
link: i see b-ttons, i just push ’em to see what they do
if something were to go wrong i’d just blame it on you
rhett: i’m quick-witted, i always know just what to say
link: then say something clever
rhett: uh, okay
link: i was offered a record deal while singin’ at a karaoke bar
but i turned it down and became the president’s karaoke czar
rhett: i rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
and donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet
link: i gave the heimlich to a horse choking on beef jerky
two hours later he won the kentucky derby
rhett: i’m allergic to nothing
link: i’m allergic to weakness
rhett: i embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses
link: i can drive a stick shift
rhett: well i can golf
link: well i can make it look like my thumb is coming off
rhett: i invented the half nelson
link: i invented the full nelson!
rhett: i’ve got a signed picture of boris yeltsin
link: my uncle is a lawyer!
rhett: i roll my own sushi!
link: i use the metric system exclusively!
rhett: i know morse code!
link: well i can speak it:
[unintelligible noises]
rhett: you just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized
link: exactly
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