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derogated-d – lost كلمات اغاني

[verse 1]
thinking about my future, thoughts run deep
laying awake at night tossing and turning, i can’t sleep
we’re moving to a new house, can we afford rent
because we’re paying less now, and still can’t afford it
we’re searching for heaven, getting higher than h-ll
angel dust saving us, i’m hearing demons wail
it’s the empty bottle loneliness
surrounded by 40oz so i’d feel lonely less
we’re qualified for foodstamps, but i refuse it
stop wasting money, and we wouldn’t have to use it
i guess i just thought things would be different now
but nothing has changed, so it’s different how
look inside the eyes of an unusual child
depressed with a broken look, only wants to smile
nothing but stress on his face
look at my heart, ain’t no love in the place
it got evicted on some finacial sh-t
smoking away, taking vigourous hits
slowly burn, scarred and burnt
nothing but charred remains of the one who had given him birth
this world is a trip, and the cost of a ticket is priceless
we let money control us when we see them prices
it’s nothing no more when you’ve gone numb, i’m paralyzed
i’m supposed to feel pain, but i feel nothing inside
where have i gone, woke up in a different dimension
speaking of which, something i’ve forgotten to mention
it’s hard to cope when you’re surrounded by dope
hard to toke when the smoke is full of undetermined hope
but without it, i guess i’d be nothing
stressing over something, i get depressed easier than the push of a b-tton
it’s hard to explain when n0body can truly relate to my pain
where i relive yesterday today, it’s all the same
i’m trapped in time forced to experience only one moment
where i’m staring into the blackhole when i hold it
i’m scared to get those antidepressants cause i’d overdose them
i’m scared about the future, i fear that i have none
but i wake up to a new day everyday so i guess that i have one
yet i live in the past, letting history repeat
i’ve lost my will along with my mind, i’ve grown weak
what’s the meaning to life, will we ever find it
money talks, and that’s why we’re all blinded
i’m lost in this everlasting expanding universal sp-ce
looking for a reason to a cope, these highs i chase
i get high for the low, only reason i’m chill
40 mils of vyvanse, take another 30 of them pills
i’m only on the pursuit of happiness, i know
but depression is the only thing i show
will i ever find the time to lighten up
because my concious weighing heavy, is this light enough
i guess not, hopscotch when bucks shot when sh-lls drop
leave you sh-llshocked, slam the cell when cells lock
i feel lost, is this a paradox
on the outside looking in, desperately screaming for help within
look in my eyes and you see someone trapped
you see me, but also see yourself looking back
because we’re all desperate for attention, we’d hurt ourselves just to get it
but the ones who do get made fun of and they get sh-t
honestly, i want an escape, some people would take their own lives for a break
don’t cry at my casket, your tears on my face shares my pain
i was once a boy who lived, his mother sip her liqour, while i’d light another spliff
she was always buzzed or drunk, and i was always lit
i guess we were both always looking for a way out
so we’d turn to our addictions, sipping and ripping until we both reached the point of being addicted
i’m broke down, constantly depressed, eyes heavy because of genetic defects
sitting in that eight row, i’m so lonely, i think i’ve finally reached it
grasping the brink of death, suicide is close i keep reaching
but everytime i’ve neared it, it starts leaving
leaving me bleeding, fiending, i guess now i actually believe in
but do i believe it, asking myself if i have any achievements
if so, i cheated, these grades are getting the better of me
screaming as i’m beatin’, into submission, double-dutch st-tching
spliff dissing, smoke i’m spitting

[verse 2]
but i guess that’s the way things have to go
might as well be happy, rather than sad, it hurts more than you know
this pen is a razor, and this ink is the blood on the pad that it flows
emotionless, heater left him standing there motionless
melted when he motioned it, man of steel he was toting it
that’s just the circle of life, you could die at any time
bullets shift through you more than the pair-o’-dime
we’ve had weapons ever since the land before time
war dawns at dusk at a quarter to 9
will it ever end, the only thing ever on my mind
peace love and happiness is a past motto
i say it truly, sad i’m not like that anymore, the smoke done blew through me
the war on drugs has again claimed another victim
the scorpio has a rough sting, inject you with the venom
living day to day, barely get by
i miss the times i used to be able to cry
time p-ss when the river run dry, like my eyes when i’m high
i honestly really just can’t stop smoking
an escape from reality, into this world when it’s open

- derogated d

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