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assumpta adams – choice of habits كلمات اغاني

choice of habits
the story of the other wes moore is a heartwarming and interesting story of two men with a similar name. they both grew up in a deprived community in the same city of baltimore, maryland. the two men grew up fatherless and were involved in infringements. however, while
both wes moore were growing up, they took different paths because they did not have the same family background and support system. as malcolm gladwell writes in outliers, “what your parents do for a living, and the -ssumptions that accompany the cl-ss your parents belong to, matter” (131).the author wes moore finished a degree in college and became successful, on the other hand, the other wes moore committed a crime and was punished by death in prison. their two different habits and mindsets of how they developed as adult men were influenced by the
people that surrounded them and by social environmental factors

the author wes accomplishments were swayed by proper supervision and constructive support from his family, his friend, and from the officers in valley forge military academy
where he learned to understand the true meaning of respect, leadership and making the correct choices. the author wes father was a journalist, his mother attended american university in washington d.c. and his grandfather completed an education as a minister in a church at lincoln university located in pennsylvania. in outliers, gladwell writes “the culture we belong to and the legacies p-ssed down by our forebears shape the success pattern of our achievement in ways we cannot begin to imagine” (19). although the author wes’s father p-ssed away, he was guided into the right direction for success and had the opportunity to attend a
private school through the support of his selfless loving mother, grandparents, and relatives. the author wes developed a growth mindset because of his mother’s consistent discipline. although author wes made many mistakes at his young age, for example, missing school
having bad grades, doing graffiti, hanging out with the wrong people, and violence against his sister, his mother never gave up correcting wes’s misbehavior. the author wes’s
mother sent him to valley forge military academy so he would have a better opportunity to succeed and learn more about discipline

the author wes tried to escape multiple times from valley forge military academy because he did not like the place. however, when author wes had no choice but to stay at valley
forge military academy, he changed his habit of stubbornness to a habit of becoming a respectful man. the power of habit by duhigg pointed an idea “sometimes in the heat of a
crisis, the right habits emerge” (160), and for a habit to stay changed, a person must believe change is workable, (92). moreover, the author wes changed his life in a positive way as an individual and academically. he earned multiple ranks and received a recognition as the youngest senior noncommissioned officer in the whole corps. the author wes graduated from valley forge military academy, and then he joined in the u.s. army, and later in his life he received a diploma in john hopkins university

on the contrary, the other wes moore was not successful in life because of his fixed mindset and habits that were influenced in a negative way. the other wes grew up feeling
neglected by his father who never took care of him and his older brother tony was involved in drugs and gangs at an early age. the other wes’s mother mary attended john hopkins university, but she did not finish her education because she stopped receiving the grant. mary started working full time and lost her focus in guiding wes into the right path. mary never recognized that she was developing the bad habit of selfishness. duhigg writes that “bad habits
emerge without our permission (26). but, since we often don’t recognize this habit loops as they grow, we are blind to our ability to control them. by learning to observe the cues and rewards, though, we can change the routines” (27). mary’s bad habit loops: her cue—“me”—her routine—ignoring the problem—her reward—no stress. mary could have changed her habit of being a selfish mother; however, she was not willing to change her ways. mary never took her time to correct wes in selling and using drugs, in doing a robbery, for having a violent behavior, for not doing well in school, and for using a gun

sadly, the other wes and his brother tony developed a bad habit loop as well. their cue—money and nice things—their routines–selling drugs and robbery—their rewards earning easy money. duhigg also writes “over time this loop-cue, routine, reward—become more and more automatic (19) which tony and the other wes became uncontrolled in selling
drugs, and doing the robbery. tony and the other wes’s bad habits can be ignored, and can be changed if they are intentionally fighting their negative outlook into a positive one. the other wes tried to break his bad habit in selling drugs and his involvement in robbery, unfortunately, he started to sell drugs again because of his frustration and belief that selling drugs will support his family financially. according to power of habit by duhigg, “habits never really disappear. they are encoded into the structures of our brain, and if someone has a bad habit, it will always stay hidden there, waiting for the right cues and rewards” (20). it is sad to say the other wes moore’s bad habit caused him to be in jail for the rest of his life for shooting an officer

the two wes moore drifted different paths because of their habits and mindsets that they developed from the people around them. the other wes moore learned a bad habit of
selling drugs from the involvement of seeing his brother tony wearing expensive accessories from selling drugs. the other wes started to crave for those things that tony had. the power of habit by charles duhigg, stated “craving are what drive habits. and figuring out how to spark a craving makes creating a new habit easier, (59). therefore, when the other wes saw a kid on the street wearing headphones, he immediately craved the satisfaction of earning money and created a new bad habit of selling drugs, so that he could buy some expensive valuables for himself. compared to the author wes, he stayed in valley forge military academy and learned the true meaning of reverence and he craved to earn respect for himself and others that drove him to create a good new habit of being a deferential man

another reason why i feel both wes moore had different paths is because they had different opportunities in life, love and care, and financial stability from their mothers. the other wes moore’s mother mary always had financial problems and never took the time to discipline other wes from his wrongdoings. in comparison the author wes moore’s mother joy provided love and care to author wes even when he made mistakes in his life when he was
young. in outliers by gladwell, “practice is not the thing you do once you are good. it is the thing you do that makes you good” (42) and ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery -ssociated with being a world-cl-ss expert—-in anything,” writes the neurologist daniel levitin (40). mary lacks the qualities of a mother to other wes, while joy took care of author wes with affection and care

it is indeed that the lack of parenting to children can create a negative impact on their life because kids need boundaries, and parental discipline has a great effect on a child’s determination to succeed. if mary was a good mother to other wes, consequently other wes would not end up selling drugs and not be in jail. however, i am not convinced because as kids start to grow as an adult, their choices will be made within themselves

- assumpta adams

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