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xtc - no thugs in our house (a musical in three acts by xtc) lyrics
cast of characters
graham, a teenager
mother, a busy housewife
father, a conservative husband
policeman, a young constable
scene: a kitchen in suburbia, one bright sat-rday morning
act one
narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the
line. her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying
their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. their
wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. a boy in blue is busy
banging out a headache on the kitchen door. all the while graham
slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted
to.
mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.
act two
narrator: the young policeman who just can’t grow a moustache will
open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of asians who
have been so badly kicked.
policeman: is this your son’s wallet i’ve got here? he must have
dropped it after too much beer!
mother: oh, officer, we can’t believe our little angel is the one
you’ve picked.
narrator: and all the while graham slept on, dreaming of a world
where he could do just what he wanted to.
mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.
narrator: they never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.
policeman: they never read that tattoo on his arm.
narrator: they thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.
policeman: they never thought he’d do folks any harm.
act three
narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the
line. she’s singing something stale and simple now this business has
fizzled out. her little tune is such a happy song. her son is
innocent, he can’t do wrong, ‘cos dad’s a judge and knows exactly what
the job of judging’s all about. and all the while graham slept on,
dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.
mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.
mother: no thugs in our house!
father: no thugs in our house!
complete cast (in unison): no thugs in our house, dear!
set design by andy partridge with co-ordination by ken ansell.
stage and scenery by art dragon
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