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​workinprogresss - stagnate lyrics

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when i sat down to write this i got nervous
what am i doing? is this sh_t worth it?
if i got lost outside my mind would i let back in
if all my thoughts were misplaced would i be able to steer the ship again
cuz now im doubting myself, i can’t lose you again (with voices)
all my notes and memories, scattered into the wind
blank pages and empty notebooks of flashing colors
to think theres ever been a life underneath all the rubble
but i ain’t live through this for nothing, there’s gotta be something
i check the closet door for scratch marks or signs of nudging
but beyond the gatеs i see nothing
this pit is ventureless, and thе fall is endless
i keep checking my phone for messages or helping hands
swiping up to feel no pulse, hoping you would understand
but i stare back into nothingness, and its eyes make a face
i cried and ran back to comfort cuz something felt out of place

how much do i gotta go through before these feelings are enough?
how much do i gotta stagnate to show you im in a slump?
how can i say im hurting, without repeating myself
what the f_ck do i need? dont even know what i want
dont f_cking ask me bout my problems, no dont ask me bout my faults
id be better off saying i needed nothing at all
im sick of being judged by myself, nothings ever enough
now i cant be close to ledges i dont trust myself to not jump
i am not an artist, i dont got the motivation
i am not a prodidgy, my mind is always vacant
all my pains are a figment of my imagination
i lack initiative ill never really try and change it
i wont live up to the standards set by my own brothers
i wont be heard screaming under the rubble
but ima drag my limp body around like its worth something
’til i die by these f_cking hands, with nothing but my creature comforts

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