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wigwam (fin) - horace’s aborted rip-off scheme lyrics
[verse 1]
an operator by the name of horace
made a deal with jake ‘n boris
’bout how the flop_house that they ran just had to go
so they planned to have an accident
pick up the thirty three percent
and retire somewhere out of the snow
they’d figured that the bigger
the policy the better
so sent a letter to the company in the know
underestimating the endurance
of the insurance agents from outta town
who’d got their man and throw ’em in the clink
[chorus 1]
for the great insurance shake_down rip_off
the faked_up break_off make_off slip_off scheme
[verse 2]
they thought they’d have a fire
endeavored to acquire
the utensils necessary for the show
bought blow_lamps, pumps and matches
fire_lighter sticks in batches
and retired to the woods with all in tow
they’d calculated that the smaller
the fuss they made the all the more
chance they had of pulling off the stunt
underestimatin’ the endurance
of the insurance agents outta town
who always liked their money up front for stopping
[chorus 2]
the great insurance shake_down rip_off
the faked_up make_off break_off slip_off scheme
[bridge]
thought they’d take a dreamboat journey
to malaysia or easter island
teach those natives something useful
diggin’ holes with style and status
the scheme wasn’t perfect
but it didn’t seem too bad
it had a good chance of working
and it was the best one they had
[chorus 3]
the great insurance shake_down rip_off
the staked_out faked_up take_all chip_off
the faked_up make_off make_up slip_off scheme
[verse 3]
but the night before the accident
horace had a premonition
of the condition he’d be in after an arrest
well, boris would double_cross him
and make off with the dough and toss him
into a pit of crocodiles and foul pest (aaghh!)
and he’d be chained down in a cell
up the hallway from h_ll and
be subject to crudities to a strained degree
and the investors they would stone him
and that jake, he would phone him
and inform him that it wouldn’t work anyway, forget it
[chorus 4]
the great insurance shake_down rip_off
the baked_up make_off break_off slip_off scheme
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