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weevildoing - x-faded girl lyrics

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“do you wanna die?”
asked the girl on the hotline
“do you wanna die?”
asked the man on the air
is it copping out
if i don’t know the answer
is it copping out
if i don’t really care

what else could i say
so that no one would bother
what else could i say
so that no one would care
and how else can i say
“to be honest, i’m tired”
what else could i say
so that no one would care

a morning in paradise
it’s well past twelve
confined to four walls of i, me, and myself
and if there were a different way to live
don’t you think i would’ve tried it?

the pain in my legs, and my stomach, my head
it radiates, it aggravates
i’m dead weight on my bed
i’ve hit a wall, i’ve tried it all
and yes, i took my meds
i keep living with no incentive
everyone’s efforts seem better than mine
like they’re miles ahead
and i’m at the starting line

as i watch the world turn
i’m held in place by my regret
am i who i wanted to be yet?
circulating thoughts
bleed into idle tenderness
i’m getting worse all over again

(“do you wanna die?”)

with a body bound to bed
observe the faded girls lament
wasted as i smoke away the dread

i take a breath and another day has passed
i can’t keep up
the world’s moving too fast
and if i could
i’d just cry about it
but my eyes won’t allow it

it’s hard to concentrate
to pull expression from my brain
i try to write a turn of phrase
it feels inane, i feel ashamed
ah
have i said all there is to say?
what’s the point of an artist
who can’t communicate
i reason with the mirror
try to identify
it’s just a mock_up of life
a childish outline
everyone’s efforts
seem better than mine
my pain is no mistake
it’s part of my design

always awaiting answers
even when i know nothing’s left
holding onto what doesn’t exist
if it was all a dream
what a relief that would be
no longer forced to live half asleep

(“do you wanna die?”)

do i wanna die?
how the h_ll should i know?
what a pain to be alive
the girl i used to be
resemblance of serenity
how can she give that back to me?

as i watch the world turn
i’m held in place by my regret
am i who i wanted to be yet?
circulating thoughts
bleed into idle tenderness
i’m getting worse all over again
(“do you wanna die?”)

with a body bound to bed
observe the faded girls lament
wasted as i smoke away the dread

- weevildoing lyrics

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