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waylon napadogan - no wonder sharon took the kids and left my ass again lyrics
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[chorus]
i came home blackout drunk and tried to make a pizza
passed out and set the house on fire again instead
no wonder sharon took the kids and left my ass again
[verse 1]
i made a half a million dollars on a scratch and win
but i blew it all gamblin’ on korean woman’s badminton
no wonder sharon took the kids and left my ass again
[verse 2]
i started findin’ bushels of peruvian weed
up from guatemala city into calgary
i got caught up in customs with a border guard
i tried to bribe him with an expired tim horton’s gift card
he did not accept and i got tossed in the pen
no wonder sharon took the kids and left my ass again
[verse 3]
so sharon if you’re listenin’
please come back home my lovе
i’ve been sittin’ here covеred in dorito dust
watchin’ “dog the bounty hunter” reruns
and i really need you
can’t remember how to use the tv remote controls
why do have so many
i understand needin’ one, but three remote controls
for one tv that just seems like too many remote controls
[chorus]
i came home blackout drunk and tried to make a pizza
passed out and set the house on fire again instead
no wonder sharon took the kids and left my ass again
[verse 4]
and i went out with the fellas
to have some drinks responsibly
but i got so d_mn drunk i joined the church of scientology
i tried to get out, they said it’s not feasible
no wonder sharon left my ass it’s not unreasonable
[verse 5]
so sharon if you’re listenin’
come back home i’m beggin’ please
i tried to meet a woman on the internet
but i got catfished by a guy named steve
who lives in his mom’s bas_m_nt
[outro]
he actually turned out to be not too bad of a guy
but that’s besides the point
sharon, please come back home
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