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vivziepop - i.m.p. commercial jingle lyrics
[spoken]
{blitzo}
hi there, i’m blitzo, the o is silent, and i’m the founder of i.m.p. are you a piece of sh-t who got yourself sent to h-ll or are you an innocent soul who got f-cked over by someone else?
{random demon}
after lovingly k!lling my wife for f-cking the delivery man, you can imagine my surprise when i wound up here after the state of ohio k!lled me! i really wish i could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body!
{blitzo}
well, luckily for you, thanks to our company’s special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!
[sung]
when you want somebody gone
and you don’t want to wait too long
call the immediate murder professionals!
grenade or cyanide
we’ll make it look like suicide
the immediate murder professionals!
we do our job so well
because we come straight up from h-ll
we’ll k!ll your husband or your wife
we’ll even let you keep the knife
the immediate murder professiona–
(moxxie shoots a kid)
[spoken]
{pink haired doctor}
doctor, he’s not responding!
{blue haired doctor}
oh, water, stat!
(pink haired doctor hits the kid)
{blue haired doctor}
it didn’t do anything!
{orange haired doctor}
d-mnit! i’m not losing another one… flare!
(all doctors shock him)
{orange haired doctor}
holy sh-t, it actually worked… he appears to be in stable condition, but he’ll need surgeries. what insurance provider do you freaks have?
{blitzo}
the f-ck is insurance?
(blitzo, millie, moxxie, and the kid get kicked out a window.)
[sung]
kids die for free!
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