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vex the mc - ruminating thoughts كلمات الأغنية

intro [sample of alina baraz & galimatias’ “drift”]
i only miss you when the sun goes down
oh, your voice is my favorite sound
swaying like the palm trees
you and me, we’re poetry
painting stories…

[verse 1]
i’m picking at the dirt
looking at the finer things i never thought’d work
i got a smirk on my face, i been working away
trying to live it up while everybody’s turnt
i wanna blow like kurt
get some better money and then get some better shirts
i been acting kinda funny and my honey
she been saying i don’t put her first, i don’t put her first
in the middle of a tiff i’m gonna split and take a sip of another burr
i wanna take a stride out of my mind
maybe take a step into another world
but these other girls don’t cut my world
she think i’m gonna leave her for another girl
think i’mma deceiver, but i need her, do i need her?
i know for sure that i need her, need to love that girl
she don’t know how i feel
oh, my god, it’s real
feel like i’m grippin’ the steel when i flip how i feel after she get to grillin’ me

[hook 1]
but my hands are tied
try to build a life that we both fantasize
run from the f-ck-ups but i can not hide
she said that she’s the number one fan of mine

[verse 2]
then how can i let her down
if she is my queen and she gives me my crown?
what is my reason for being so scheming
if she’d never let me drown?
the screaming, she’s crying, the breathing, she’s heaving
i tell her she gettin’ upset for no reason
she says i should leave and i tell her i’m leavin’
i go down the street to maria’s to drink and
i’m back in the saddle, i’m holding the reigns
back and forth, playin’ pong with a paddle
i’m battling demons, i’m mad at my demons
jack daniels got me in a dance with my demons
she don’t know what i’m thinking
we so irate, it drives me to drinking
hibernate in a drunken slumber
f-cked up through a cycle of seasons, uh
she tell me my problems have got out of hand
and i can’t seem to solve ‘em
wish i could dump ‘em inside of a tub filled with lye to dissolve ‘em
take a lighter to all ‘em
and burn ‘em up just like nuevo leon did
but i can not, i can not
there ain’t a quick fix, so i gotta be cautious

[hook 2]
i apologized
try to build a house to hold all those lies
try to run ahead but i fall to the side
p-ssed and now she’s missing those calls of mine

[verse 3]
a couple of broken people
stuck in a song like a broken needle
she can tell all her friends that we fight
but they don’t know what we know
i’m sick and i’m tired, convinced i’m a liar, she’s rid of desire
she said go to h-ll but i been in this fire
i’ve come way too far to just sit and retire it, uh
i could give it my all but if i trip and i fall then it’s never enough
and this medicine’s tough
i think back to times in 2014 when she’d end it abrupt
i said i’d be different, she said it’s a bluff
i’m guessing that this mess is present because
a man of his word wouldn’t get it so rough
so i’m sorry, but i know i’ve said that enough
communication been breaking but i am not ready to let it go vacant
i got my face in the dirt but i’m aiming for first in her head as my placement
if you got to question or not if i’m invested or not
then you best reconsider
you are the best f-cking thing i can see, and i mean it
i know that i got to deliver it, uh

- vex the mc

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