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tossers - whiskey makes me crazy lyrics

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i put my shoes on backward on the way out to a dance
then i had to go back home cause i forgot my pants
i bought my love a ring and i professed my love of course
we were not yet married and she wanted a divorce

stout it makes you thick, and it makes you thin and lazy
irish whiskey drives me nuts whiskey makes me crazy

i curled up with my wife after i’d gone to wet my throat
then i woke up in the stall all curled up with the goat
my friends do not invite me anymore for anything
cause i stumble round their houses all upending everything

my mother used to beat me she would beat me black and blue
now i have a wife and sure she’s beating on me too
i once had a job and you could say that i was skilled
but it’s off now to christina’s place to go get f-cking drilled

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