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torné - dawn of misery كلمات الأغنية

[verse 1]

after you listened to the 0 days mixtape
you thought “t’s great, since first grade when he first displayed”
well i think that was just the beginning
and that project wasn’t really that much to begin with
i’ll tell you anything, let’s go back
let’s travel to the land where t was happy and didn’t hear rap
it was 9 years ago, before my first suicidal thought
j told me “listen to eminem he sounds great bro”
so i did it, it was rock, metal, and two em’ songs
and i said “h-ll t, this library is too wrong
you know you like rap, so why you only got two eminem songs and the rest from f-cking rockstars”
so that’s what happened with my music
and then there i was, standing at the balcony trynna not to lose it
trying to control my first suicidal thought
should i throw myself or eat a cookie and forget, i dont know
i ate the cookie, and that was it
and after that i wasn’t supposed to expose it but f-ck it
i only was nine, and i thought of suicide
as a way to lay my brown -ss aside from my troubled mind
fast forward to sixth grade, twelve age
my only friend in school is mad so i meet wax’s rage
trying to choke myself with a f-cking f-nny pack
cuz i’m so alone, my sister left and she’s not comin back
and my man is mad, my voice is wack
somebody squared up and i ran, f-ck it, i’m not even black
psht, it didn’t even work
i was close to dying but then i f-cking f-cked it up
i’m not strong enough, i still dont have the b-lls
to meet my fate, heaven’s great but h-ll’s the place i’m going to

[verse 2]

seventh grade, rage is building in me again
living in pain, having everything but not feelin great
feelin like a waste, but i play games and forget it
think about death and instantly regret it
fast forward again, let’s go to nineth grade
meet six g-ys and everything’s great til the last bit
tried to win but im lost
lose the nineth grade and that motherf-ckin rage doesnt stop growin up
and im growing up with it
trynna write lyrics but only write gimmicks, losing years minute by minute
the second nineth grade i was sunk in depression
i mean more than usual, study? i didn’t do none
all the year i was only discovering music
and at the end i was wondering how im supposed to not lose it
and at the end i’m trapped in my bedroom
had to do homework or lose again and i said no
i had no time to do that sh-t so i went downstairs
and grab the first poisonous object to kill myself
and there it was a f-cking insecticide
ironically i’m a roach and i drunk that motherf-cking can
but i got scared and told my parents about it
they took me to the hospital and they both are soundless

[verse 3]

another fast forward to this year
my brother died and i go insane and did the same sh-t again
and the f-cking same sh-t happened again
so i said f-ck this method, i’m trying another way of sin
and then i hang myself, but got scared one more time
untied before i died, cuz wax is lying
i dont need this sh-t, but wax tries to control me
i may be the best mc but the devil haunts me
all i can do is remember the good times of wayback
and pray to the lord to get my smile back

- torne

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