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topi mandela - bipolar and afraid... كلمات الأغنية

[chorus:]
sometimes i wanna hide
but i don’t know where to go
i keep my feelings inside
emotions that i never show
scared of saying goodbye
paranoid at h-llo
falling back till i fade
bipolar and afraid

[verse:]
mood swinging like a pendulum
pent up tension and depending on
who i’m with, sometimes i’m irregular
i can get, kind hard to be around
sorry if, it starts getting weird
imma k!ll the vibe
when i walk away from a good time
lemme check my phone, someone hit my line
say i gotta take it but i’m really lying
anything but fine-
bipolar disorder i’m sorta feeling like i’m sick in the head
and i’m sick of my stomach becoming a knot
to the point where i’m tossing and turning in bed
hanging on by a thread
not to mention my thoughts keep on threatening me
like “you definitely finna end up alone
with no family or friends because wanting some sp-ce is yo specialty
especially cuz no one’s ever cared about you, affectionately
desperately you try to look for love
it never seems meant to be
menacingly looking in the mirror
you got issues mentally”
mending all the broken pieces that i’m made of drains my energy…
i put on my smile to disguise the hurt
but thorns grow with roses when they rise from dirt
so i can’t hide my ugly from them eyes that lurk
learning to give god his sp-ce as he tries to work
one minute i’m outgoing and going out
being loud, having fun, and showing out
then a split second later imma slip out
of the room and into depression, gotta get out
no one gets it so i’m being defensive
feeling fenced in
i’m getting p-ssive aggressive
fending for myself, take it back
to when i was living with my uncle pat
he was always workin, parents overseas
frozen skype screens is all i can see
when i try recalling those memories
so i started popping pills just to ease
my mind and sh-t
13
suicidal thoughts
nightmare screams
living in the hood
with some broken dreams –
broken home –
broken me –
so anybody who thinking they really know me
and wanting to be my homie
better never try to hoe me
-ssuming that i’m an -sshole
when i wander off and just need to be alone
i got a lot going on
i can fess up, stress up
and i’m scared to mess up
sh-t weighing me down
but i walk with my chest up
i often wonder if anyone can relate
but if not, i’m used to not fitting in
so it’s straight n-gg-
—

[chorus (x2):]
sometimes i wanna hide
but i don’t know where to go
i keep my feelings inside
emotions that i never show
scared of saying goodbye
paranoid of h-llo
falling back till i fade
bipolar and afraid

- topi mandela

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