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to kill achilles - something to remember me by lyrics

it all started july 9th, 2018 when i woke up on my 25th birthday and realized i couldn’t face the day without reaching for a drink
i had no one to care for, nothing to care about, no direction in life
a passion with no talent
that’s when i turned to the mirror and noticed that the cracks in my skin started to form
i’m getting old
i guess a glimmer of hope appeared when i was offered a chance to follow my dream career
but it just made me feel so alone
so i turned back to the mirror and continued to watch the cracks in my skin grow
this failed being was my deepest anxiety
what if i die alone
so, i just scoffed, leaving home
i turned to god just for someone to talk to
i never believed before and i still don’t
but it was nice to say it out loud
at least there was one constant thing that kept me grounded and that was her
i wrote her a letter to explain how i hoped she’d never leave
by this point i realized i had become a burden to everyone around me
one thing stuck in my head, no man told asked for help
i began to remember my father who passed when i was young
and i started to think perhaps it’s my turn
with such thoughts of death in my head, i started to realize
i was already dead cause i was alone
i pictured my ideal heaven
just a beach i grew up in
with all of the people that i used to know
and i began to think of my mother
and i began to think i want to see her again
so i guess now this is just something to leave behind
i’m a mento, a token, or just something to remember me by

- to kill achilles

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