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three a.m. - part of me كلمات الأغنية

[three a.m.]
hit the silence on my phone
leave a message at the tone
i’ll let emotions out cuz they bout to overflow
i’ll deal with this on my own
poppin meds until i’m zoned
in my bed i’m comatose
i just wanna overdose
stuck in negative head sp_ce
the demons never go away
they just move another place
i’m too disgraced to show my face
i felt the same yesterday
the vicious game of drinking pain away
feelings hit my chest like a bullet ricocheted
these the moments when time is ticking at its slowest
these the moments when i know that i’ve hit my lowest
i’m daily going through the motions
these thoughts have their own motives
facing down reality hitting like a locomotive
where am i between feeling hopeless and being focused?
where am i between real life trauma and hocus pocus?
wheres the fine line between fixed and forever broken?
i’d really love to know cuz i’ve never been shown it
[hamilton]
i know i’m lost cause
never get things right
walking all alone
i could die tonight
n0body would know and n0body would care
exhale my pain, now there’s smoke in the air
i know that it’s clear that i don’t fit in
feel so uncomfortable in my skin
laying in bed and i feel so stuck
i hate the whole world
yeah i know it’s f_cked
something is wrong with me
and it can’t be fixed
your f_cking dishonesty
just making me sick
making me cringe
making me wish
that i didn’t exsist
like everyday
tortured in my own brain
yeah i know it’s a shame
i got nothing to say
i got nowhere to go
feel like n0body want’s me
i tend to push away
those who love me
the pill’s they gave me
just aren’t working
the happy gears inside my head
still aren’t turning
drink to numb the pain
now my stomach burning
if you call him your man
why his pockets hurting
you already know
mine are swole as f_ck
mix margelia
with the trues
i ain’t slowin up
if you ain’t talking money
i ain’t showin up
if they ain’t showin love
then i don’t give a f_ck
[three a.m.]
ever since i’ve tried to write a track about sobriety
like i’m dealin with a post operative lobotomy
im feeling i can’t master an intelligent dichotomy
in my drunken state i thought way more philosophically
i tend to have a better vision with my f_cked up chemistry
it’s almost like i’m bottling anger that i’m harboring
i use to fire off these tracks semi automatically
i feel that i’ve been running out of ammunition recently
i’ve given up the part of me
that made my last masterpiece
i’ve given up that part of me
i’ve k!lled him off so tragically
i put him on display like a catastrophic centerpiece
left in the open for the world to watch him slowly bleed
it’s been a few months since that part of me became deceased
i had to erase him, make the old me obsolete
the never ending vicious cycle replays memories
flashing through my mind so frequently
reminisce so vividly

[hamilton]
the pill’s they gave me just aren’t working
the happy gears inside my head still aren’t turning
drink to numb the pain
now my stomach burning
if you call him your man
why his pockets hurting?
you already know
mine are swole as f_ck
mix margelia with the trues
i ain’t slowin up
if you ain’t talking money
i ain’t showin up
if they ain’t showin love
then i don’t give a f_ck

- three a m

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