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theycallmejeff - billy bob thornton lyrics
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[intro]
(jeff, what the f_ck are you hiding at me, jeff?)
[chorus]
bottoms up, bottles drunk, count ’em one, two, three (yuh)
drink it like a fish, throw a n_gga out to sea (uh_huh)
there’s a little secret about me, you see
i’m always either drunk or about to be
got me actin’ up all dastardly
talkin’ to a f_ckin’ wall, like “answer me” (answer me)
known to hit a bottle with good accuracy
more shots than fargo, i’m billy bob t (yuh)
[verse 1]
turned up like the news on a d_mn aristocrat (uh_huh)
f_ckin’ up my words, like d_mn, run that back (yeah, yeah)
brain scrambled up, thoughts are f_ckin’ mismatched (yuh)
fall on the floor like human: fall flat
b_tch i’m f_cked up, ay somebody call a cab (call a cab)
usin’ up the liquor likе i’m in a d_mn lab
scientist sh_t, yeah they say i’vе gone mad (uh_huh)
’cause i chugged twenty cups and then i went and hit a dad
i ain’t even cough, i just looked up and laughed
hurt her bay shorts, i’m f_ckin’ hulk smash (uh_huh)
steady came out while i’m all up in the grass
roar like a drummer, then i blow a lotta brass (uh_huh)
higher than an alto, d_mn, i should start a band (start a band)
to get me one thousand, b_tch i’m really throwin’ grand
despite the f_ckin’ fact that i can barely even stand (uh_huh)
if partying was a person, i’d be their biggest fan (i love it)
wake up next day, start this sh_t all over (yeah, yeah)
cold pizza on the table, sauce stains on my shoulder (uh, yeah)
take my medicine at like 2 p.m. sober (f_ck smoke)
black out like the f_ckin’ end of october (ooh_wee)
marijuana, i’m a stoner, if you ask about the odor
look a little closer, eyes red like a fire, bro (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
got twisted off this toaster, blunts fatter (yeah) than a gopher (yeah)
(yeah) smoke turn me to a choker, need a lung_a_dung donor
i was eighteen when i first got high
high school graduation, i was high that night
school reunion still changed my life
for as long as the chef, r.i.p my guy (as the chef)
bl__dy bloom my twenty to the party, now i party hearty
drink all the bacardi, n_gga don’t get me started (no, no)
funny ay, n_gga, might be an alcoholic
to my nephew’s birthday, took a f_ckin’ fried party (oh yeah)
[chorus]
bottoms up, bottles drunk, count ’em one, two, three (uh_huh)
drink it like a fish, throw a n_gga out to sea
there’s a little secret about me, you see (you see)
i’m always either drunk or about to be
got me actin’ up all dastardly
talkin’ to a f_ckin’ wall, like “answer me” (uh_huh)
known to hit a bottle with good accuracy
more shots than fargo, i’m billy bob t
[verse 2]
drunk as f_ck at chuck e. cheese, pass out in the ball pit
apologize to the kids for seein’ me vomit (i’m sorry)
clean it up with comet, i’m really sorry
clothes reek of marijuana, hang out with aliens
burnt, i just mop on it (yuh), my family’s astonished (yuh)
say i got a homie, i do it twisty often (yuh)
sewer haze got my mind up and comin’
got me askin’ dumb sh_t, like “what if we can see oxygen?”
bruise got it sliced like paws, but it
keeps squeezin’ on like i’m on a b_tch
sprawled out on my living room ottoman
supposed to be in class, but i said “f_ck college”
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