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the shy retirer - hindsight كلمات أغنية

i’m still awake, wide_eyed and drained from the core
restless through morning into late nights becoming sore
trying to fill up the stark emptiness with stupid ploys and casual mess

merely creating a larger void harsh and more meaningless

it seems these days i mainly stare into the faces of despair and death
wanting to scream out for help yet mostly holding my bare breath
for as much as i want to relieve unto others every clashing strand of scared thought in my mind
i shouldn’t expect anyone to really listen, understand, care, or have a lot the time

i’m probably better off keeping this all tucked away deep within
dealing with a lingering absence on my own accord stretching me thin
every week losing hindsight of those that i dearly held close
a brother, son, or lover no longer a presence but now a looming ghost

seldom a day has progressed without ruminating on what is no longer here
going about my usual schedule often solo running in tears
breaking down again from how i carried my beloved friend to the grave
living unsound fearing the memories of them will only fade

- the shy retirer

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