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the newfangled four - gaston (parody) lyrics
jackson:
my dudes, i’m super stressing
these youtube comments are so depressing
one by one, they’re all acquiescing
i may not be a very good lead
all except jackson:
woah, no, no way my guy
jake:
you’re so fresh and fly
jackson:
dismissed (oh no)
rejected (not so)
publically humiliated (but how, just wow!)
ooh
all except jackson:
you? never my man!
you’ve got to pull yourself together, jacksan!
jackson:
hey, it drives me insane when you say my name wrong!
all:
thеn girl (girl?)
you’re really gonna hate this song
ryan and jakе:
this song
all:
jackson!
jackson (spoken):
guys, you know my name is actually pr_nounced jack_
ryan:
gosh, it disturbs us to see you jackson (see you jackson)
looking so down in the dumps
jake:
now every voice here’d love to be you jackson (be you jackson)
even our friend donald duck
jackson:
i thought you were gonna say donald tr_
all:
trust us, there’s no one admired as you
you’re everyone’s tenth favorite lead!
jackson:
but we were ninth!
all:
if everyone’s awed and inspired by me
jackson:
then i hope you three will show me why….
joey:
we are going to show you whyyyyyy
ryan (spoken):
you just have_
jake (spoken):
to see it!
joey (spoken):
through our eyes…
jake (spoken):
he’s casting a spell
all:
woah!
jackson (spoken):
i’m starting to see it now
all:
no…
one’s….
sl!ck as jackson, no one’s quick as jackson
vocal chords as incredibly thick as jackson!
for there’s no pipes as electrifying
all except jackson:
yes you know that he is perfect, the purest of beings
jackson (spoken):
hey, thanks guys!
jackson:
you can ask any joe, jake, or ryan
all:
and they’ll tell you he’s surely a son of a_
jackson:
rich set of parents who could afford quality voice lessons
jake (spoken):
that was close
all:
who…
out…smarts like jackson
martial arts like jackson
who’s so great at karate wax off and wax on!
all my punches and kicks are so devastating!
my, what a guy that jackson!
jackson:
i needed encouragement, thank you my dudes
all except jackson:
well, there’s no one as easy to bolster as you
all:
debonair like jackson
lush red hair like jackson
no one else quite excels at skincare like jackson!
jackson:
my girlfriend says i’m good at exfoliating
jackson (spoken):
ah! ow! why!
all:
no blackheads for jackson!
all except jackson:
and his eyebrows are perfectly drawn!
all:
when i was a lad, i’d post four dozen tags
every morning to help me sing high
jake:
he can fly
all:
but now that i’m grown i post five dozen tags
watch me warming right up to the sky
jackson:
sky_sky_skyyyy
_whistles_
jackson (spoken):
oh, i can’t even sing the high notes today, guys
this is just not good
nothing about this is_
all except jackson:
jack
son
jack (what’s happening?)
son
jake:
it’s a montage
all except jackson:
jack (what’s going on?)
son
ryan:
we’re showing the audience a transformation
jackson (spoken):
you’re not actually doing anything
all:
no…
one…
kicks like jackson
bad like mickel jackson
no one’s moonwalk is so freaking sick like jackson!
if you thought that was great, watch his figure skating!
jackson:
say it again (who’s a man among men?)
and then say it once more (who’s the hero next door?)
all:
who’s a super success?
don’t you know, can’t you guess?
yes my best friends, my three hangers
all except jackson:
we love jackson!
all:
we should all clown around
let’s hang out if you’re down!
ryan:
and his name’s j_a_s
j_x…t?
i think there’s a number seven?
you know, it just occurred to me that i’ve never had to spell it out before
jackson:
you think that’s hard try spelling my last name
all except jackson:
that’s easy it’s
n_i_e_b_r_u_g_g_e
jackson:
well then say it out loud
all except jackson:
nibogringo…
ninjaburger…
ninnybruggy…
jackson (spoken):
no! it’s not ninnybrungy
it’s jackson nickleback
joey (spoken):
lemme get to the bottom of this…
jake (spoken):
one with the kitzmiller. you breathe in, you breathe out
find your chair pose
ryan (spoken):
i think i found it
joey (spoken):
there it is. oh, there is a 7 in there
ryan (spoken):
must be belgian
all:
my, what a guy! (what a guy)
jackson:
i now believe i am your guy!
jackson
all except jackson:
such a bae like jackson
yass queen slay like jackson
when you sing you just blow us away
jackson!
all:
jack…son!
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