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the illz - behold! the nightmare lyrics
[verse 1]
my head to the sky
looking at head to pray to him
but i ain’t got nothing to say to him
it’s crazy
when nothing in life can hold meaning
when you question
everything you believe in
when your soul it starts bleeding
and everyday you sink to depression
for no reason
you try to ask for help cause you’re alone
but who to call
everyone’s got problems of their own
they don’t understand
sometimes i stare in the mirror
wonder who i am
sometimes i wish i could come up with some sort of plan
to take me out of all this misery
i try to lie but deep inside this sh-t is k!lling me
is anybody here feeling me
i can’t describe what the love for doe did to me
it came in made my dreams just disappear
at at a loss made my mind stop thinking clear
they tell me just get a career
get a good paying job you can keep a couple years
cause its all about the money just forget what you believe
forget about your wants you should just get a degree
i feel you jay i know you’re looking out for me
but being honest though that school sh-t ain’t for me
i took the hard road
and that’s never the nicest
they took d i realized how short this life is
at his wake like i’ve never seen anything like this
i came across his father and i swear he looked lifeless
but still through the tears he cracked a smile
but his eyes screamed pain cause they took his only child
and seeing his father through these times
i realized how much i miss mine
i try to hide it front like i feel fine
so to ignore the pain i just grind
immerse myself in every distraction
so i can numb the pain and stop my body from crashing
cause everybody’s telling me you gotta take action
in a year everything changed i’m lacking the p-ssion
what the f-ck i’m gonna tell them when they’re right
it’s always in my mind i think about it every night
i’m not into this rap sh-t man i don’t even write
for a moment i was ready just to live a normal life
d-mn
my mind’s on a whole other level
how you win if surrounded by the devil
facing d-mnation, temptation
staring straight at the heavens but can’t face him
so now its just harder to choose
i ain’t eager to win, not ready to lose
make me never wanna touch this
but without it yo i swear i can’t function
[music fades]
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