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the chap - 20105pm كلمات أغنية

(o.a.k.)
lately i been feeling paranoid, uh
black hole taking all my f_ckin’ joy, uh
not again, fall in a depression coma
next thing i know, i wake up all alone, uh
wonder when this f_ckin’ pain gonna dissipate
wonder when this f_ckin’ rain gonna go away
wonder when i’m gonna wake up from this nightmare
wonder if i’m gonna see god when i get there (ayy)
disappointment to my family, who am i to say
that i deserve a little love? i’m just a waste of sp_ce
wish my addictions woulda took me when they had the chance
but now i’m clean, can’t go back to that sh_t again
scared to lose myself, but i’m scared of change
like why the f_ck do i gotta be this way?
like why the f_ck do i hurt the ones i love?
like why the f_ck i live to see the motherf_ckin’ sun?
one more hit and i’ll get clean (i promise)
one more gram, and i mean it (i promise)
20 dollars every week (f_ck)
get a bag, spent to lean (ugh)
does knowing me more, lead to loving me less?
i got this hole in my chest, i got a bunch of regrets
sh_t i tried to express
but they aren’t hearing me now, just like they weren’t hearing me then (uhh)
hoping god will forgive me, uh
am i worthy of forgiveness?
father, i know i’m a sinner
please forgive me, i’m repenting
they gave me an inch, no motivation for the rest of the mile
bullet casings, i put them in a pile
got me stretching for the yard, no clue if i’ll make it further
wanted love, i got a scar and a burn in return
take what i wanna, b_tch, f_ck what i earned
if you wanna start beef, you can pull up and scr_p
but otherwise, get the f_ck up off of my back
it’s funny how i’m never enough, but i’m always too much
i been f_cking chasing my soul, but i’ll prolly just give up
kinda wish that you’d lied, kinda wish you wasn’t honest
kinda with that l’d died, which i wasn’t so heartless
am i worthy of heaven when i get up there to the pearly white gates?
did i do enough good in my life to be considered one of the greats?
did she love me or not at the end of my time when it’s all said and done?
or did i make irreversible mistakes that i should never have done, uh?
do you accept my soul forever, or am i just gonna end up in h_ll?
can you please help save my soul, god? ‘cuz if i lose it, i lose myself
2:01:05pm and, i think i might be out of control
and if i don’t have you with me, father, i know i’m gonna lose all hope
yeah, up at night, i can’t sleep
detached from reality
constant thoughts in my head on repeat
like if i f_ck up, are you gonna leave, huh?
yeah, if i hurt you, are you gonna stay?
if i lash out, will you be there telling me that sh_t gon’ be okay?
motherf_ckers lyin’ on my name, and i can’t catch a break, b_tch
motherf_ckers tryna shapeshift
morphing like they fix pain and sh_t
buggin’ like it was a laced hit
hyper like i’m sniffin’ ‘caine, sh_t
if you were mad, would you stay? (mad, would you stay?)
if it was bad, would you stay? (bad, would you stay?)
i gotta know this sh_t (i gotta know this sh_t)
would you love me the same? (love me the same, ayy)
(ayy, love me the s_)
(would you love me the sa_)
(uh, would you love me the s_)

- the chap

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