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the airborne toxic event - all these engagements lyrics
they say it’s so much better to have loved and lost than to have lived in a bubble never knowing the cost of a broken heart like a loaded gun, it scares everyone
everyone tells me the same thing every day: “you’re wasting your time, just wasting away. there’s a hole in your heart. just go fill it with love.”
but what is love? what is love? what is love?
what is this thing i’ve been told since thirteen years_old where you feel understood, undeniably good? it’s a stain on your sneaker, a hole in your speaker, a feeling apart when you’ve emptied your heart
she’s at the upstairs windowpane as the young boy cries in the rain
she’ll never know the power she wields as the thunder falls on his ears
and he tells himself, “never again.”
all these engagements and lover’s spit as they grasp at a future and promise it will be joyful and fruitful, “we’re better as two.”
and i cried too, i cried too, i cried too, i cried
hoping you’d hear me and see right through all the endless denial i gave to you. i was childishly hoping you’d pull me through. i want it too, want it too, want it too
i want it to change me and lift me explain me and give me a moment of time less alone in my mind. when i felt so strange you would hold me and say, “i’m stranger than you can imagine. it’s true
and i’m yours and i’m yours and i’m here
and i swear there’s nothing to fear.”
so the young woman lies on the bed while the young man hears lies in his head
and there’s no one there and nothing left to be said
all these engagements and lover’s spit
all these engagements and lover’s spit
all these engagements and lover’s spit
they grasp for it. they beg for it. they smother it and cling to it
love is kind. love is fair. love is real. love is true
i was wrong. i held on
i waited for you
to be whole
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