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texican - 2003/intro lyrics

my name is matt
i’m about to turn 20 years old
i’m different from everyone and i’m not afraid to say it
i’ve been living in the sp_ce between fantasy and reality
where the two meet and blend together
it’s not just little things like numbers on a paper, it’s quite literally everything
people, places, faces, words, memories
days, months, hours, minutes, seconds
after a while you just get used to it
i don’t know how it all started
for all i know this is what my entire life has been like
instead of looking for a way to escape i’ve just gotten used to what life is like down here
in my spare time, i do anything any other late teenager does
i play video games, watch movies, snack on whatever’s in my pantry
and i write lyrics hoping one day someone can hear my story and think “hey! this guy is cool!”
yep
i’ve always been anxious
i’ve been paranoid for as long as i can remember
it’s hard to keep friendships and relationships because i’m always worrying that i might screw everything up and poof. they say they hate you and they’re gone
it hurts
a lot
there’s a sense of dread always looming over you every time you talk to a person. or a friend. or your girlfriend
some things never go away
i wish i didn’t have to live here
i didn’t choose to
but sometimes i look through the lines and hope that one day maybe, just maybe
there are greener pastures for me

- texican

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