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teacozy - telemarketer goes to paradise lyrics
i was on the road to paradise, yes i was gettin’ free
i was on the road to paradise, to live in harmony
but when i arrived, they told me there’s an entrance fee
as i reached into my pockets the realization dawned
that i don’t own a credit card, and all my money’s gone
so i grabbed for my guitar but they say “boy, we don’t trade in song”
so i looked into the classifieds to get myself a job
i looked into the classifieds to get myself a job
’cause i don’t have the b_lls to go and find a bank to rob
now my resume is weak, but my voice it has the tone
so the only job they’ll give me is to work upon the phones
where i call you at home and you say “f_ck off, leave me alone”
being sure to keep all my feelings repressed
and slowly going crazy in a chair behind the desk
i had paradise in mind so i kept in line and did my best
but as the weeks went by i started to lose steam
to pass the time more quickly i’d close my eyes and dream
but the manager would hound me, saying “be part of the team”
but as you can imagine my patience did decay
i couldn’t bear to think of going there another day
i stopped showing up and i looked to find another way
and back upon the streets, with the future so unclear
i busked to get some money, but i spent it all on beer
and tired i was ready to give up on the whole idea
but then my luck it took a turn the universe it rearranged
it is best i do not question it happening so strange
so i headed back to paradise with a whole bag full of change
i ran right to the front door with that gold and silver stuff
and handed it over to the bouncer big and tough
he looked down at his hand, back up at me and said “that’s still not enough”
well i started cursing and screaming, kicking at the walls
i’m cursing and screaming, kicking at the walls
i say “who are you to put a prize on paradise, that’s not fair at all”
the bouncer grabbed me by the shirt, though i refused to lose
but he was built like a giant, there was nothing i could do
he said “even if you had enough money, you still don’t have the right shoes”
he must’ve knocked me so hard that i lost my common sense
’cause when he turned around i climbed up over the barbed wire fence
i was getting into paradise at any expense
finally over the top my feet hit the ground
i brushed myself off and when i looked around
i was completely overwhelmed by the place that i had found
lower class women were pushing the mops
through paradise malls and souvenir shops
and everyone smalltalking around hundreds of cops
everyone smiling, staring at big flat screens
where celebrities sing on advertis_m_nts for new jeans
and the logo sais “be like me or be noone, there is no inbetween”
my head started spinning, and i understood
that someone had fooled me, and they’d fooled me good
i scrambled back over the fence just as fast as i could
i ran right to the people in the paradise line
and tried to explain that they were wasting their time
but they all just looked down at me, like i were outta my mind
but i knew what was happening, i witnessed that beast
my anger it grew and someone called the police
who escorted me from paradise for disturbing the peace
now back upon the road with no destination
nothing to achieve and no expectations
i realised that this is paradise, and i smile, and drift off into my imagination
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