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steve goodman - vegematic lyrics

fell asleep last night with the t-v on. oh, what a dream i had.
i dreamed i answered every single one of those late night mail order ads.
and four to six weeks later, much to my surprise,
the mailman came to my front door, and i couldn’t believe my eyes
when he brought the vegematic, and the pocket fisherman too,
illuminated ill-strated history of life,
and boxcar willie with a ginzu knife,
a bamboo steamer, and a garden weasel too,
and a tie-dyed, dayglow souvenir shirt from six flags over burbank.

the doorbell rang all morning and into the afternoon.
i shook with fright as it rang all night to the light of the master card moon.
there was parcel post in the pantry, and ups in the hall,
c o d’s to the ceiling, and i just couldn’t pay for it all.

i got the egg scrambler, with a seal-a-meal carrying case,
a set of presidential commemorative plates
so i could eat my eggs off the president’s face,
a minute mender, and a needle that’ll knit or crochet,
and an autographed photograph of rin tin tin at six flags over burbank.

(same chords as 2nd verse:)

i remembered i was dreaming, so i gave a mighty cheer.
when i awoke, it was no joke, ’cause all that sh-t was here.
so if you fall asleep with the tv on, let me tell you what to do:
tear the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you.
you’ll get the vegematic, and the pocket fisherman too,
illuminated ill-strated history of life,
and boxcar willie with a ginzu knife,
a bamboo steamer, and a smokeless ashtray too

and an all expenses paid weekend for three at six flags over burbank

- steve goodman

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