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starbomb - glass joe's title fight lyrics
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[gl-ss joe (danny s-xbang):] bonjour! h-llo!
my name is gl-ss joe
i’m ze toughest french boxer zat you’re ever gonna know
i’ll score a tko then drink a fine bordeaux
and flatten all my opponents like croissant dough
i fight next week for ze champion belt
mr. sandman is tough, and i might need a little help
so i hired doc, he once trained an elf
named little mac so now, i believe in myself!
[doc (egoraptor):] i’m doc, ha!
this b-tch is gonna die!
his overall record stands at 1 to 99
he’s been hit in the head seventy-five too many times
now he wants to fight sandman?
dear god, why!
his head and his -ss about to go through an estrangement
i think i’ll start making all the funeral arrangements
i have to be responsible and tell him he can’t win–
[gl-ss joe:] here’s ten bucks!
[doc:] f-ck it
let the training begin!
[gl-ss joe:] whoa, whoa
i’ll be the champion
i have the heart of a lion
[doc:] that’s really not gonna be enough
[gl-ss joe:] i’ve got the skills
[doc:] no, you don’t
[gl-ss joe:] i’ve got the power
[doc:] wrong again
[gl-ss joe:] you’ll never catch me
i am like the eiffel tower
[doc:] that doesn’t move!
[gl-ss joe:] whoa, whoa
i’ll be the champion
i’m building an arc of triumph
[doc:] that took, like, thirty years to build
[gl-ss joe:] got my beret
my eau de toilette
i’ll break the sandman like a stale baguette
no sweat!
[doc:] now it’s four weeks later
and it’s time for the fight
i’m sad i gotta watch a man die tonight
[gl-ss joe:] do not worry, doc
gl-ss joe is built to last!
[doc:] you get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
your weight training diet’s all wine and cheese
you’ve got the body of a man with an awful disease
your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter
and your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter
[ding ding]
[gl-ss joe:] zere’s the bell!
zanks for your help, doc!
[doc:] yeah, see you in h-ll
[gl-ss joe:] zis is my moment
vive la france
all of my training
has led to this chance
i benched ten q-tips, i ran five feet
i did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet!
there’s mr. sandman, here he comes!
but i believe in myself so i have already won!
whoa, whoa
i’ll be the champion
i have the heart of–
oh! ah! ow! ow! ow! ow! ahh!
whoa, whoa
i like candy corns
please put them in my donuts
ugh!
[doc:] yo, you beat the french out of him!
[gl-ss joe:] i have my
ugh! agh! ough!
my favorite color is seven
awgh!
no more peanuts for me, stewardess
godzilla is my dad
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