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star wars rap battles - darth vader vs. princess leia lyrics
lando: hold it down, hold it down, hold it down, alright..
to my right: darth hater
to my left: princess slaya
dj, spin it! let’s go!
(vader’s gonna choke!)
leia: gettin’ this win is something you could never do;
they’re wanting episode 7, not phantom menace part 2!
i’ll stick your charred face ‘tween a rock and a hard place;
the only thing that you could ever win is a pod race!
and as a matter of fact, dad, i know that you can’t spit
’cause every time that you be breathing
you be soundin’ like you’re sick
i’m no hater, but i hate ’em, cause we know vader’s a traitor
you’re breathin’ like a fat kid puffin’ his inhaler
smoker’s voice, got a trache in your vocal cords;
smelled your foul breath when i came on board
and the shape of your helmet isn’t really the best;
look, luke, dad’s got an inferiority complex!
hot mess, only battler in a dress;
this lady’s runnin’ things like i’m a queen in chess!
and i’ll confess, padme might’a done you wrong –
’cause i just spent father’s day with obi-wan!
vader: you’re steppin’ to the … most evil mc
that the galaxy’s seen, so you know that i’m mean
i know you know what i mean, you need to listen to dad;
i’ll make you choke in this battle just by raising my hand
whether slayin’ beats or younglings, i’m doing what i’m lovin’;
been a champ since you were just a bun in the oven
call me dark lord, and they say you’re my kin
but i blew up your planet, and i’d do it again
but it doesn’t mean that i don’t miss you int he worst way –
remember when i got you an ewok for your birthday?
you’re all grown up now, wearing makeup and bling;
i know rappers wear chains, but this ain’t the same thing
schoolin’ you in rap, and you can’t play hookie;
shave your legs, leia, you’re too short to be a wookie
and i really would’ve never had to blow up alderaan
if 20 years ago i hadn’t met your mom
leia: leia spar hard, put darth in an arm bar –
better keep up your gaurd, darth, or i’m leavin’ you jar jar’d
’cause vader you done, done
and you prob’ly should run, run
and i’m puttin’ my pops down, don’t need any gun guns!
han. luke. bail organa, and obi-wan…
oh, you thought you were the chosen one?
black pleather and plastic? it’s time to play hard ball
where’d you get your outfit? the darth maul?
i might have daddy issues, but at least i have a dad
and if you try to ground me, i’ll go live with uncle chad!
now i bet you’re gettin’ mad at everything i say
but the day you win this battle’s the day you save padme
if vader was my only hope, i’d be hopeless;
i’m no stormtrooper: when i shoot, i don’t miss!
i hope this hurts way worse than when your mom split
’cause if you act up, then i’m flippin’ your “off” switch!
palpatine: good!
vader: are you on drugs, leia? someone get her a p-ss test
i’m the dark lord, but i’m not into incest
i’m tellin’ you the truth, so you can’t be mad at me:
your inbred babies will be uglier than palpatine
never thinkin’ of the negative, i asked her who she lovin’
and she said “it’s all relative,” ooooh!
watch your language, you’re makin’ me stressed
you kiss your brother with that mouth? oh wait, yes
when you were young, i had to bounce
want the truth? you and luke, you were creepin’ me out
man, what were you thinkin’? no really, girl, what were you doing?
you and your brother ruined the family reunion
yo, i’m a huge fan of villainous wickedness
and i know twins are close, but this is ridiculous
i’m still your father, leia, what was i supposed to do?
i had to cut off luke’s hand just to keep his hands off you!
palpatine: ohhh
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