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snaco - note 2 self كلمات أغنية

[verse]
a year ago, i said it was deeper than rap
a year later i found out that it’s deeper that that
a little curiosity, the knife is deep in the cat
sitting on my front porch just listening to adele
feel like i made it in the game but hadn’t made it out of h_ll
my chips are on the table, but the game is getting stale
still thinking about my grandad because life was a bust
still wondering if i’ll become the man that he ever was

[bridge]
he follows me
i see him
he swallows the hole inside of me
then i believe him
cause i have no one to believe in
i visit his mind still every weekend

[verse 2]
ain’t sh_t changed, i’m afraid to turn the next page
i’m not a mature man, i’m a man with a mature age
i recently searched 100 ways to do it pain
so my google history’s just another waste of mental age
f_ck it, let me paint you a picture
i was sleeping in my room, with no covers, it was december
then i woke up to a text from this girl i’m not trying to remember
we was dating for a while, i loved her while i was with her
i’m over here two years later, and i still miss her
i open up the text, she’s telling me she’s leaving for other reasons
so deceiving, to myself i am keeping with no filter
this caused a lot of depression, a lot of deception
i’m texting her “i’m sorry”, she’s not reading my message
and if god is with me, then what’s the meaning of this lesson?
i’m consistently losing people and repetitively stressing
i don’t even know if i’ll ever be able to manage
so i sneak in my mommas kitchen at night
searching through every drawer, grab the largest knife
i hold the blade to my wrist and i’m shaken in anguish
i know in my mind, to heaven i’ll never make it
looking at my future like, will i ever prevail?
the car alarm goes off, then i wake up in h_ll
am i awake or am i asleep, is the only question remaining
i ask god for his protection and his angels to save me
i’ve been knocking on his door but he had to answer me lately
chasing after my dreams as far as i am concerned
if we live, love and die, i wanna live, love, and learn
no, i want my ashes inside of an urn
is this what we live our lives to learn?
i don’t know
(i don’t know)

- snaco

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