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slash k. - certified sexless lyrics
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certified s_xless lyrics
[intro]
hey, how you doin’?
this is the first song
when you have a sh_tty album
you gotta start strong
if we played around in smash
you know i’d beat ya
what’s up? i’m slash
nice to meet ya
[verse 1]
now listen real close to this absolute bop
there’s plenty more beats
yeah i do it non_stop
if you wanna stick around
listen for the drop
against all the other rappers
i will come out on top
you came in for a laugh?
a chuckle? a giggle?
or did you come to me to give that booty a wiggle?
i use ketchup on my food because it’s good
mustard too ’cause mustard is also good
welcome to my highly s_xy cooking class
we’ll stuff you like a turkey
shove an onion in your ass (ouch!)
[?] on the streets
gotta be strippin’
i don’t vibe with the hoes so you’ll never catch me simpin’
and if i find a cheeto on the ground
i must l!ck it all around
i buy d_ld_s all around
now we got the boppin’ sound
i waste every single day
watchin’ silly anime
way too many games i play
and now my songs are on display
[chorus]
yes i’m a virgin but i don’t care
and i know that came out of nowhere
i kinda wanna smash but i act so reckless
but s_x will never happen ’cause i’m certified s_xless
yes i eat tacos ’cause they taste good
i eat them every day that’s how i lost my livelihood
i wanna mush b_tts ’cause my love is infectious
but you already know that i’m certified s_xless
[verse 2]
purple’s my favorite color but i like blue and green
i remember watching dad kick ass at mean bean machine
my favorite game is rocket slime
nintendo ds
localized trilogy?
ohh that’d be the best
for fifteen f_cking years my whole room was a mess
you know who never cleaned it?
take a wild guess
all my music videos are playin’ at the cinema
i always like to watch them while i get a coffee enema
i like to strip down naked and then walk through a walmart
cackling and laughing while they see my non_existent part
walkin’ down the parking lot
i see a pretty little thot
should i hit or maybe not?
i’ll ask her quick just for the plot
she said no i had to go
didn’t even want that ho
fyi just so you know
your ass smell like salmon roe (rock you!)
[chorus]
yes i’m a virgin but i don’t care
did you know one time i burnt my hair
kinda wanna smash but i act so reckless
but s_x will never happen ’cause i’m certified s_xless
yes i eat tacos ’cause they taste good
i eat them every day, they’re tasty
i wanna mush b_tts ’cause my love is infectious
but you already know that i’m certified s_xless
[outro]
cer_tified
i don’t want celibacy
cer_tified
i still have my purity
cer_tified
didn’t need this chastity
cer_tified
i’m a king of virginity
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