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siooh - 10/14 كلمات أغنية

[verse]

10 14 2013 i was 13 asking god why
did he hurt me, searching for a sign
that, could be lurking, hurting, through the night, since there was no leads

people told me, that he died in the morning, slowly, now he’s in the sky only soaring

i’m sorry, care for your mommy
it’s a sad day, but be strong in your body

there’ll be hard days, so go talk to somebody
there’ll be dark days, so you might find a hobby

sorry, my mom kept sobbing
tears in her eyes really got me
all of this was all pretty shocking
my dad, was everything we had, cause
no one else could back us
even when we act up
he was always there through disaster
a smile with a laughter and now you’re telling me that he’s gone?
can we track him?

what really happened?
i kept on asking
i felt his absence
which got me spazzing
gasping
trapped in
like i’m in a casket
yeah that’s kinda backwards
but really that’s what happened
i couldn’t breathe as many people could see
didn’t find any peace and weak from holding things
i read plenty of tweets
and didn’t know what to think
didn’t know how to sleep
people told me to grieve

but i’m still in disbelief
this was all a dream
and i’m lying fast asleep
all of this is brief
and there’s nothing in between
there’s gotta be a link
something in my reach
something i can’t see
maybe if i blink
maybe if i…no
what is there to seek?
what is there for me?
i think i’ve reached the brink of denial, deceit

but it’s all part of grief
it doesn’t grant relief
the decease are decease, but at least
they’re at peace, if there is such a thing
it’s all kinda relative and i ain’t overselling it
all i see is messages
i don’t see the evidence
the rhetoric that settles it
a sentiment
a sedative
a thought that heals like medicine
can’t help but question it
i don’t think it’s settling
i just think it’s primitive
relevant but negligent
maybe i’m just delicate
ill_equipped to deal with this
how can i just cherish it
maybe i’m just arrogant
i might need a therapist
sharing this narrative
i’ve been taking care of this
some believe it’s meritless
honoring my parentage
all of its imperative when living in america
times flies fast
10 years passed
and that’s really hard to grasp
the past is the past, and, nothing ever lasts
but i still miss my dad
i still miss his laugh

i wonder where he’s at
since i never got a map
cause i wish i brought him back
as i try to find my path

to look beyond the past
is another thing i lack
i’m working to the max
like the world is on my back

mom says relax
cause i’m bound to collapse
from the pain that i mask
from the day that he passed

looking at his past
i can’t help but raise a glass
nothing more to add since he worked to advance
now i gotta ask
am i capable to last
i’m running out of gas
as the world moves past

staying on track and there’s no going back
known to the world as my dad’s aftermath

- siooh

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