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simplisity - this is me lyrics
[verse 1]
i’ve been told i look happier, less depressed
well i guess that’ll change when i drop this new sh-t
just close your stupid mouth michael no one wants to hear it
i feel that sometimes when i want to say how i’m feeling
cause i got problems and i get it you got yours to
but this is just how i try to let mine show through
i want to feel wanted cause i’ve never been
hated on my whole life and this ain’t helping
i’m such a loser my own mother didn’t want me
would rather leave and party late then try to love me
then a couple years later she thought i was worth enough
came back into my life clean off the angel dust
then she left again and now i’m starting to lose it
my anxiety is through the roof and i feel useless
i don’t know want i feel worse about
the fact that she came back and i cut her out
or the fact that i’ve only cried once about it
took me 16 years to do something about it
i think i actually feel proud
i, i don’t really know how to explain it
[verse 2]
my whole life seems to feel really hazy
i don’t remember when this just became me
i’m a depressed lump of mess and
my best friends seem to agree
but they don’t do much to try to help me
i get it it’s my own problem and not theirs to fix
it’s just we seem distant and i can’t help but see it
they’re with their girls and yet again i’m the 7th wheel
i try to say something but i ran out of cards to deal
wish i could find that one but i poisoned all the fish in the sea
i have a toxic disease
cause one-second they’re into me and the next they’ve moved on
i don’t know what i do, been trying for too long
i say music is my main b-tch no time for other girls
but that’s just how i hide that i’m bad with girls
i shoot my shots but i’ve never been good at basketball
i’ve never really been good at anything at all
well i guess this rap sh-t counts but it would help if i got paid more
maybe play shows, get my name known
i reach out to locals but they’re either sh-t or to good for me
so i gotta do this on my own and it ain’t working
i don’t know how to improve, i think i’m broken
well actually just broke cause my job don’t pay much
so you can throw college out the window, i don’t have money saved up
[verse 3]
was gonna hit toronto try to catch the scene
but it would help if i could actually rap or sing
and actually mix my vocals so it doesn’t sound like i’m trying talking through the sink
i spend 2 days on a song cause i find it easier
but that ain’t good, i shouldn’t find it easy to rap sad stuff
i think i messed up, i’ve been pressed up and this ain’t even my best stuff
i’ve been stressed at home, wanna be left alone
cause my dad’s been drinking more and he’s been getting stoned
been through it before, my mom she’s a clone
and i know i can’t follow suit but i’ve been tempted more
last week she overdosed, she’s stuck in comatose
i keep it my shoulder, she’s never been so close
it’s the life she chose, the only life she knows
cause i know she’ll go again if the chance arose
and so i’ve been told, don’t mess with drugs they’re cold
cause addiction runs through my family more than i know
and i know that i chose to follow the dark side of my family
but i won’t let that become who i am, and so i stand tall
cause i know i’ll never fall
victim to drug abuse, my mission is more obtuse
so screw yall whos pressing snooze
i’ve been through too much to let y’all change me, this is me, simplisity
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