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shitty broadway - poor unfortunate souls lyrics
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[ursula, spoken]
well, it seems the only way to get what you want
is to become a human yourself
[ariel]
can you do that?
[ursula]
my dear sweet child, that’s what i do
it’s what i live for!
to help unfortunate mer_folk like yourself;
poor souls with no one else to turn to
[verse 1: ursula, sung]
i admit that in the past, i’ve been a nasty_
they weren’t kidding when they called me, well
[ariel]
a witch?
[ursula]
b_tch
[ursula]
but you’ll find that nowadays, i’ve mended all my ways
repented, seen the light, and all that sh_t
yeah, sure
and i fortunately now a little magic
it’s a talent that i always have possessed
and here lately, don’t you laugh
i use it on behalf of the
miserable, lonely, and depressed
pathetic
[chorus]
poor unfortunate souls
in pain, in need
this one longing to be thinner
that one wants to get the girl
and do i help them? yes, indeed
those poor unfortunate souls
so sad, so true
they come flocking to my cauldron crying
“spells,ursula, please!”
and i help them, yeah, i do
[verse 2]
now it’s happened once or twice
someone couldn’t pay the price
and i’m afraid i had to rake ’em cross the coals
yes, i’ve had the odd complaint
but on the whole i’ve been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls
[ursula, spoken]
oh, and there is one more thing_
we haven’t discussed the subject of payment
i’m not asking for much, just a token, really. a trifle
what i want from you, is your voice
[ariel]
my voice? but without my voice, how can i_
[ursula]
you’ll have your b00bs!
your pretty face!
and don’t underestimate the importance of body language
[verse 3: ursula, sung]
the men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
they think a girl who gossips is a bore
yes, on land it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
and after all dear, what is idle prattle for?
b_tch, please!
they’re not all that obsessed with conversation
true gentleman avoid it when they can
but they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who’s withdrawn
it’s she who holds her tongue who gets the man
[chorus, sung, _spoken_]
come on you poor unfortunate soul
it’s sad, but true
if you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet
you’ve gotta pay the toll
_take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll_
_flotsam, jetsam, now i’ve got her boys_
the boss is on a roll
this poor unfortunate soul
_now get out._
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