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screeching weasel - intro [live, philadelphia 1993] lyrics

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[stage banter]

weasel: hey, punk rock is hip now… okay, listen, um… we would like to stay in philadelphia tonight, but we don’t have anywhere to stay

(audience chatter)

weasel: we probably don’t wanna stay with you if you’re raising your hand right now. we don’t wanna stay with any pot smokers, we don’t wanna stay in any punk houses. we wanna stay in nice quiet houses, places like that

(audience chatter)

weasel: you have a nice clean place?

vapid: there’s a voucher

weasel: and you’ll put us up? ok, then we’re staying…

vapid: and you’ll put up with us

weasel: we’re staying with her. we’ll do all your dishes and vacuum your floor. what’s your name? nicole? we’re staying with nicole. don’t you go anywhere, don’t ditch us

(audience chatter)

weasel: okay, futhermore… futhermore, the sound man asked me to tell you to please stay the h_ll off that, and he’s a big f_ckin’ guy, so i would

vapid: he’ll knock your d_ck in the dirt
weasel: he will. anyw…

(audience chatter)

weasel: pardon me? did you say something? i couldn’t hear him

(audience chatter)

weasel: did somebody say, “shut up and play?”

audience member: yes! go home!

weasel: did somebody say that? i don’t think a_… i don’t think anybody said that

vapid: yeah. of course not

audience member: go home!

vapid: “go home.”

weasel: “go home?”

vapid: we could always take the money and run, ya know?

weasel: who is it… who is it that wants us to go home?
audience member: it’s this guy!

vapid: well, you can go home

weasel: somebody wanna escort them out? they can go home. all right, anyway… right

- screeching weasel

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