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saturday night live - corporate nightmare song lyrics
(spoken intro)
[ted]
hey, dylan, take the lip ring out. it’s against company policy
[nate]
this one’s goin’ out to all the corporate drones out there!
[tina]
workin’ for the man, makin’ other people rich
[casper]
slave to the almighty dollar
[dylan]
you know who you are. listen up!
(hook)
mom and dad said, “go get a job!”
[tina]
go work real hard, go punch a clock
[nate]
climb the corporate ladder straight to the top
[casper]
pay your dues; someday, you’ll be the boss
[dylan]
but white-collar life don’t work, you see
[tina]
’cause i ain’t no corporate worker bee
[nate]
everybody in the house who feel like me
[dylan, tina, nate, and casper]
get up on your feet and scream
(song)
take this job and shove it up your—
i will never be
part of this machine
corporate society
you can’t hold me back
with a paycheck
this job can kiss my a–
(spoken)
[ted]
hey, tina, great work on that compete -n-lysis
[tina]
oh, thank you
[ted]
you should think about the management training program. we could use someone like you on the 12th floor
[tina]
wow. i, i will. thank you, sir
[ted]
(great work)
(training program)
(hook)
[dylan]
boss man sit around on his -ss all day
[tina]
doin’ real good work for the companaay
[nate]
he don’t know what’s up
[tina]
but he actually does, though
so let’s not be unfair to ted, yo
[dylan]
but the hours
[tina]
are good
[nate]
and the pay
[tina]
is generous
[casper]
corporate culture is straight-up venomous
[tina]
but our benefits
(spoken)
oh, sorry, one second. i just gotta make sure i rsvp for this meeting. yep, i knew it. and—sweet. thanks, guys
(hook)
[nate]
’cause the people at this place
[tina]
are my best friends
[dylan, nate, and casper]
and when it comes to the boss
[tina]
he’s my best friend
(song)
[dylan, nate, and casper]
take this job and shove it up your—
(spoken)
[ted]
tina, nate, casper? you got a sec?
[casper]
yeah, absolutely. yeah
[nate]
sure thing, ted
(song)
[dylan]
i will never go
down the corporate road
capitalistic nightmare
blah blah blah blah blah
something blah blah blah
(spoken)
the h-ll is that all about?
[casper]
so…?
[tina]
ted asked us if we would pitch on the digital campaign
[nate]
yeah, it’s pretty cool, actually
[casper]
yeah, it’s really nice that ted is looking at ideas internally
(hook)
[dylan]
you corporate drones in your suits and ties
the boss says “jump”; you say, “how high?”
(spoken)
[tina]
ted wants you to work on it, too
(hook)
[dylan]
let’s dive right in, put our heads together
[nate]
blue sky the whole thing, make the good ideas better
[tina]
let’s order food
[casper]
stay here all night
[nate]
if we’re pitching to ted
[tina and dylan]
it’s gotta be tight
[dylan]
we do this right, who knows where we could go?
[tina]
dana is retiring
[dylan, nate, and casper]
she’ll need to be replaced, yo
[nate]
one of us could get her job, management position
[casper]
down the road, we could be runnin’ this division
[dylan]
first we crush this presentation
[nate]
no chokin’
[tina]
got our foot in the door
[dylan, tina, nate, and casper]
now let’s kick it open
(spoken outro)
[tina]
work hard, good things’ll come
[nate]
that’s just how it is, people!
[ted]
dylan, lip ring
[dylan]
ah, sorry, mr. abbott
[ted]
call me ted
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