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sammy j & randy - census lyrics
name, s_x, age, marital status
current address, religion, ethnic background
what’s a dwelling?
don’t ask me!
i’m still stuck on question three!
surname?
i don’t have one!
just put ‘purple’
oh
rental status?
month_by_month
occupation?
skinny c_nt
what?
nothing!
what’d you put for ‘house description’?
sh_thole!
so it begins
when it arrives
we gotta justify our lives
and face the fact that nothing’s changed
since the last time we did this
five years ago
back when we promised that we’d
get our sh_t together
so in five years time we wouldn’t feel like
total f_cking failures
but in five years we’ve done f_ck_all
but lament the fact that we’ve done f_cking nothing with our lives
and then they f_cking make us write it down
when the census comes to town!
name, s_x, age, marital status
current address, religion, ethnic background
name?
randy
s_x?
male
age?
thirty five
marital status?
recently divorced
current address?
ricket’s lane
religion?
pass
ethnic background?
haberdashery
name?
sammy
s_x?
male
age?
twen’y nine
marital status?
stalker
current address?
ricket’s lane
religion?
jedi
ethnic background?
summer babe!
what do i put?
what do i write?
i’ve got my job it’s going nowhere_
did i drop the ball?
[?]
and i still can’t make it work
i’m still a virgin
i’m still a jerk
how do you paint a pretty picture
when your brush is broken and your palette’s full of sh_t?
name, s_x, age, marital status
current address, religion, ethnic background
superannuation
occupation
getting further education
origin [?] gender orientation
network
date of birth
language spoken at home
anglaise!
income
health plan
tv license
broadband access
method of sewerage
landline
livestock
[?]
windows
livestock?
livestock!
livestock?
yeah, livestock!
kids
tax
pets
beds
bikes
car
doors
rooves
yard
bills
gas
former employer
bank
shed
school
food
pool
next of kin!
i never knew my father!
he died in a plane crash
september ’11, 2001
it was in new zealand
didn’t make the papers
i never knew my mother!
she left me in a basket!
on a doorstep
on a cold night
then she picked me up the next day
what?
it was a playdate
with a neighbour
randy?
we ate chicken twisties
my dad died
i had a very happy childhood
you were listening?
now back to the census
for f_ck’s sake!
name? (who?)
s_x? (why?)
age? (what for?)
marital status? (who am i?)
current address? (where?)
religion? (alabama!)
how come this is so degrading?
it seems senseless that they send the census to us
since the census can see through us
with statistical sixth sense
we tick the boxes
cross the ‘i’s
collecting data from our lives
and the survey says… _ding_
we’re f_cked
what do i put?
what do i write?
i’ve got my job; it’s going nowhere_
did i drop the ball?
[?]
it’s wrapped around my scr_t_m
pushing me down, dragging me down
and [?] the indignity
[?]
and we normally don’t mind it
we just hate to be reminded
by the answers that our pens are putting down
you try to hide it
but there’s no way to disguise your sh_tty life
when the census comes to town!
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