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ryn abvert - what am i? (suicidal thoughts) lyrics

[verse 1: ryn abvert]
ay, yuh
what am i to my mother?
some n_gga that hollers, bothers
doesn’t help with struggles in the house?
if i’m nothing to myself, what am i to others?
some f_ck n_gga, a b_tch n_gga, a dumb n_gga, a stupid n_gga?
is that what they think, i don’t know
does it feel good when you’re
together with your family as a whole?
sometimes i feel that sensation, but it’s h_lla rare
i told my mom i loved her
and she really didn’t seem to care
but it’s ok i’m movin’ on and thinking about the future
this life thing is hard man i think i need a tutor
to tell me the way, oh wait that’s g.o.d
blessing me, my family, and all of my homies
and i know that is true
one day i’ll get connected to my roots
i’m not in depression, i gotta have a good mood
because n0body likes someone who is plain rude
watch me move i’m stuntin’ every move

[verse 2: ryn abvert]
and some people say they like my flow
to keep doing this rap sh_t and i’ll blow up gold
ab, this song is so good!
but i really can’t tell if they’re telling me the truth
i have to fake sh_t to make my momma’
not think about me as a fool
man i have to lie about my grades in school
telling her that i’m secure, but secretly i’m getting the bag
i rob sh_t to feel nice
to flex that i do crimes
but that’s not the way
i did l___ and i don’t feel the same
i was addicted but i’m not a g_thang
i feel so bad i feel so f_ckin’ insecure
i getting hit with sh_t like i’m a f_cking snare
should i keep going or should i stop there?
i don’t know it all depends on your f_cking ear

[chorus: ryn abvert]
i tell myself that i’m ok
but sometimes i just can’t take the pain
suicidal thoughts in my head
mom i’m sorry for the sh_t that i said
i tell myself that i’m ok
but sometimes i just can’t take the pain
suicidal thoughts in my head
mom i’m sorry for the sh_t that i said

outro:
abvert, yuh

- ryn abvert

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