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roseblud - when she's here lyrics

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i’ve fallen in love with a phantom
i wake up in the morning with a chill alerting me of her presence
desperate to stare into those empty green eyes long enough for the woman i love to sprout out her face like a weed
i’m a wishful thinker
wishing so fervently that the constellations we plotted futures on, would spare just one shooting star for me to wish you back here
surely if i could learn to live without miss sunshine, orion could do without a single extra light in the sky
i mean what’s a single star to the center of my solar system
what’s another 1 in 8 billion to my one and only

in a moment i figured the truth
i was laying in bed next to you
and you just had this look in your eyes
like you couldn’t see me or the room
and so slowly i came to realize, that the woman with me wasn’t you
i spent days trying to share love with her
but there’s things that she just couldn’t do

when she’s here
i feel fear force itself into the place your hand should be
my heart racing at missteps and worrying for landmines
when you’re with me i don’t feel love
i don’t feel joy
when you’re here i feel like the woman i fell in love with is somewhere else
and i’m laying with an imposter
when you’re here, i do a lot of wishing that you were here
is that really so far fetched
is it wrong for me to want to hold you
to talk to you like i used to
is it wrong for me to feel this way
when you’re here
if anything is clear to me now
it’s that when you’re here
this new you
i can’t be

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