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rooster teeth productions - ah rap battle lyrics
[intro: jeremy dooley]
it’s time for rooster teeth throwdown
geoff ramsey vs. jack pattillo
throwdown!
[verse 1: geoff ramsey]
well jack, it’s finally time to settle scores on the open floor of busting rhymes
so i thought of going light but now i’m losing the gloves
to drop a bearded b-tch harder than the corpirate does
you joke that i’m never around
yeah, i got word of it
i’m busy running let’s play, have you heard of it?
it’s true, i’ve been known to flub my way through a line
but you can blame the fifty things more important on my mind
why don’t i waste time with your sh-t? cause i’m above it
when i step back into the vids, the fans love it
and i’m representing everything that rooster teeth is
like a frontrunner for the whole achievement hunter biz
so keep on interrupting everything that people say
half time making content, full time wasting sp-ce
go ahead come at me with whatever you brought
before i slam you down like the bottom of a shot
and rip you up, ship you up back home to your wife
like the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life
i’m lining up a shot and aiming to score
wipe you out like i’m matching colors up in gems of war
the og g is pulling from his bag of tricks
get a kick out of slick rhymes sticking like they’re hot as d-cks
the things to do we do happen to be like your career
both of them wouldn’t be without the help of me
[verse 2: jack pattillo]
and so the foot fits in a familiar shoe
geoff ramsey taking credit for what other people do
i built up a legacy in my very own way
so surprise motherf-cker, jack’s here to stay
you stumble through what you build and you handle it sloppily
i’m building up more houses than mr. monopoly
good luck taking the win with those ridiculous lines
my rhymes are like the -sses on my characters, d-mn fine
i am ah, i’m its voice and its face, so i live the high life, like i’m bathing in queso
i love seeing fans decked out in their t’s
like achieve shirts so long as they’re rocking the og
and making the games? you’re just a host in disguise
wasting time explaining rules while i’m off chasing b-tterflies
when fans join the game i make ’em retreat
with the powerful use of one word, leave
get your -ss in one video before you disappear
meanwhile ah is still neck-deep in the beard
cause i’m here making content, i never get stale
while you act like your trials character and bail
so bring it on, geoff, if you think you can take me
you’ve insulted me for all these years and couldn’t break me
it comes as no shock you can’t handle the truth still
the ninth person hired and the first that was useful
[verse 3: michael jones]
i’ve heard enough of this sh-t, my brain is starting to seize
cause your flow’s got more holes than swiss f-cking cheese
you think your personalities are what’s keeping you strong?
well i got plenty, ask max and sun wukong
when the fans rant on how they first discovered we exist
you can bet rage quit is always topping their list
cause i can take a piece of sh-t and give it public acclaim
like the fame that came from playing the impossible game
mogar! it’s a matter of fact that i’m the king of attack
winning every type of combat
you’re running out of sh-t to give as a reward
when i drop the other players with a wooden f-cking sword
i’m the warrior, i’m happy when i’m hostile
i’m losing shirts, causing hurt, b-tch, jersey style
you’ll see me here for all foreseeable years
while you guys will disappear like my chin when i’m feeling weird
you’re so old your jaws are starting to rust
you think you’re spitting fire but you’re just spitting dust
i’m the young hero, get me a damsel in distress
i’m the leader of the lads, f-ck whatever gavin says
so finish up your fight to be the shiniest t-rd
i’ll happily award you guys second and third
feel free to not agree that you’re coming in last
you can b-tch and whine the next time you’re sitting on my podcast
[verse 4: ryan haywood]
good lord, you’re still here arguing who’s the best?
well you’re not being efficient, that much i should have guessed
it’s really sad you have your verses everything that you had
i’ll be the king of this thing, but first, let me get mad
the fans were feeling timid when i first showed up
now if i said i’m walking out, the internet would blow up
cause i’ve heard what you contribute and i think it’s pretty clear
your fans are like my kid, they’ll take whatever they can hear
i was the newest of the crew when you were looking for a few
new dudes, cause you were desperate to get more views
and from the first let’s play i was making you money
and all the comments read “wow, when did jack get funny?”
i’m enormously floored whenever one of you talks
get your level of talent by dropping fungus in a box
but i guess i should thank you for destroying my morality
cause now i can k!ll outside of virtual reality
you want a line in the sand? well, i’ve drawn it
step across, edgar’s hole has got your name on it
i appreciate you most when you’re definitively dead
or bowing down when the crooked crown is on my head
when my skull mask is on, you’d be wise to beware
you’re all circling the drain, my fame is still in the air
if it were only me here, things would run so smooth
cause ah only has one problem, you
[verse 5: gavin free]
oh, come off it
you must be having a laugh
i’m seeing sh-t lines, weak rhymes all over the gaff
a difficult question for our fans would be
a million dollars but all your content would be without me
see i came in as a fan, walked out as a star
i take the wheel in vids, why even bother with a car?
the glaring problem that i’m seeing with you boys is
you’re not good enough to be famous for bird noises
i’m just better, i think you get the gist
you’re just a bunch of kids, i’m a scientist
people churn out gifs with everything that i do
you can barely run a channel while i’m juggling two
slowing down the chaotic adds some beauty to it
when i slow you down, eh, you still look like sh-t
but i actually like that you’re lyrically lame
that low quality will give me even more frames
i’m more famous than all of you combined, so suck it
talent so small it could fit inside a bucket
rhymes are on target and they’re looking good
gavvy’s h-tting more bullseyes than mark nutt could
be as famous as me? yeah, that’s something you wish
i’m k!lling this rap, you’re all flopping like a fish
i’ve been saving this truth like a finishing weapon
what you make in a day, i can make in three seconds
[verse 6: jeremy dooley]
here i was saying not to add to this thing
and are you finished? to be honest, i wasn’t even listening
and not cause i’m busy, i just don’t give a f-ck
it’s like five tiny cars against a monster truck
see, i was voicing my rejoicing as a choice-cut fan
before i buried my wary head in all your multicams
then the people saw my vids and it opened their eyes
that just one little man could be bigger than you five
you’re out doing other sh-t while i’m constantly in
b-tch, i’m never out of style just like rimmy f-cking tim
never thought i’d steal your thunder, but guess what, i did
dealing insults out like here’s looking at you, kid
yeah, i adored you once but that won’t give you immunity
you might have fans but i got a community
it’s honestly hard not to feel pretty great
when i accomplished in a year what you managed in eight
every project i’ve had i worked away and slaved on it
got the vs belt so much my name’s engraved on it
the fact you still challenge me is making me sick
take you whole channel over with one f-cking axe kick
so the new guy’s the best, that must make you pretty p-ssed
without me this rap battle wouldn’t even exist
now, i admit you guys clearly had some good rhymes today
but remember one thing, i wrote them all anyway
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