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robert lopez & jeff marx - there is life outside your apartment lyrics
[brian:]
princeton!
[princeton:]
yeah
[brian:]
listen, buddy, n0body’s seen ya for two weeks
what’s up with that?
[princeton:]
i went to work for a temp agency, and they
fired me for being too depressing on the phone
i maxed out my cards, i’m two months behind
in rent, i totally messed up my personal life
oh, and brian—i still haven’t found my purpose!
[brian:]
all right. get off your -ss and stop worrying!
everyone’s getting together to mess around the city today
[princeton:]
have fun!
[brian:]
when i say everyone, that includes you!
there is life outside your apartment
i know it’s hard to conceive
but there’s life outside your apartment
and you’re only gonna see it if you leave
there is cool sh-t to do
but it can’t come to you
and who knows, dude
you might even score!
there is life outside your apartment
but you’ve got to open the door!
[princeton:]
no, thanks, i’m staying in!
[brian:]
don’t tell me i gotta force you
[princeton:]
sorry!
[brian:]
all right, everyone! he’s resisting!
[christmas eve, trekkie monster, gary and nicky pick princeton up and drag him outside]
[all but princeton:]
there is life outside
there is life outside
there is life outside
there is life outside your apartment!
there’s a pigeon
squashed on the street
[christmas eve:]
ew
[brian:]
there’s a girl p-ssing by
[nicky:]
no i think it’s a guy
[all but princeton:]
and a homeless man
who only wants to
buy something to eat!
sorry, can’t help you
[they enter the subway]
we could go to the zoo!
[trekkie monster:]
pick up girls at nyu!
[brian:]
we could sit in the park smoking pot!
[christmas eve:]
or not
[all but princeton:]
there is life outside your apartment
[princeton:]
well, i guess i’ll give it a shot
[sound of gunshot. everyone screams and runs.]
[all:]
there is life outside your apartment
i know—
[sound of loud jackhammer. they cover their ears and swear.]
there is life outside your apartment
[they look up in horror.]
[voice #1:]
i’m gonna jump!
[all:]
don’t do it!
[voice #1:]
okay
[all:]
there is cool sh-t to do
but it can’t come to you
so come on—
[car screeches to a halt.]
[voice #2:]
get out of the way -ssh0l-!
[princeton:]
f-ck you!
[all:]
there is life outside your apartment
oh, you never know
what’s around the bend
you could win the lotto
or make a friend
[lucy enters. the guys eye her and turn to princeton.]
[guys:]
take her home to see your apartment!
[lucy:]
do you wanna feel special?
i can see that you do
well, i can make you feel
special
if you let me feel you
[guys:]
she’ll feel you!
[lucy:]
where’s your pad?
[princeton:]
not too far
[guys:]
we could call you a car
[princeton:]
we’ll be fine, thank you! see ya!
[christmas eve:]
hope you don’t get gonorrhea!
[all:]
there is life outside your apartment
[princeton/lucy:]
but now it’s time to go home
[all:]
there is life outside your apartment
[trekkie monster:]
me going home now
[princeton/lucy:]
it’s time to go home!
[trekkie monster:]
that’s where me gonna go!
[lucy:]
i can make you feel special
[trekkie monster:]
that’s where me gonna go!
[all:]
there is life outside your apartment
[trekkie monster:]
me going home now
that’s where me gonna go!
[princeton/lucy:]
but now it’s time to go home
[trekkie monster:]
for p-rn!
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