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ricor - confession (dead ghost lyrics

hey grandpa, in case you can hear me, i love you, and i wish we could have met. it really makes me mad that you and i never had a relationship. so let me formally introduce myself
you don’t know me, but i’m your grandson

there’s something i want to get off my mind, a certain memory that’s been stuck in the back of my life. but now is the time to bring it to the forefront, the fact that i am actually a fully fledged grandson. it really p_sses me off that you died, so close to the start of my life. you and me, wе would have really gotten along, i would havе learned from your clear sense of right and wrong
i think about your soft and expressive eyes, the fact that when you died the room was filled with sunlight, cause the light came over the mountain, facing the east, in the high desert, that created a powerful sense of peace. i know that paps really wanted us to meet, but the stroke got to you, after a still, and peaceful time of in between. approaching death, you moved your eyes showing that you could hear, that you were still alive. you said that you were ready earlier to die, but you had to stay longer, not quite done with your life. you said, “i was ready then, but i decided to stay,” paps said, “i’m glad you did” but now it’s time, and that’s okay. when you found out mama was pregnant with me you said “that’s wonderful.” why do you have to be dead? now i’m sitting here writing this song, hoping it’s not too long

cause you looked down on me then, now i think of all that we could have been. i never knew you but my love’s still strong, it really hurts me that you’re gone. i just wish you could have passed after you did, then i’d be glad to have had a grandpa to call my own, but now you’re gone, and your memory’s strong

you once said that you were happy with your life, to the best of your ability, said some things turned out better than you ever hoped, your pain was strong, but you were always able to cope. you were known to be super caring, always had a joke when it got rough, even in your last moments. the doctor asks, “bill, could you describe to the kids your experience during the surgery?” you just made them laugh, and told them a story. you said, “well things back then were different, as i’m sure you know. back in my day, they beat me unconscious with a rubber hose.” this made them laugh, the patients that were really scared, you always had a word of comfort, knew what was fair. you said, “no, i won’t risk it, they won’t make it back,”refused the general’s orders to carry out the attack. you had an obligation to those men, if you followed rules they may not see their families again. i remember when you bailed paps out of jail, so upset, you couldn’t do more than wail. there was that moment when you were sitting in the suv, you asked him, did you do it, he said “no” you said, “that’s good enough for me.” had you met me as a baby, you would have shed tears of happiness, so lately i remember that you never saw the glory of war, that was your philosophy

you guided me then, now i think of all that we could have been. i never knew you but my love’s still strong, it really hurts me that you’re gone. i just wish you could have passed after you did, then i’d be glad to have had a grandpa to call my own, but now you’re gone, and your memory’s strong

when you hear these words i say, i hope you know that i always pray that you will never be lost, more than a figment of my thoughts
i never knew you, yet i feel that your presence in my life is real
the fact that you’re gone is what hurts the most

this is my confession to a dead ghost

you were never afraid to call bull on things, resigned, you said, “it’s not my thing.” like dumbledore says, it takes courage to stand up to your friends, you lived up to that, but you never made amends. i see you all the time in your son. that’s right, when your son resigned, you left your legacy behind. cause i know you were a hero to my dad, on that bomber you gave them strength they needed to have. cause you said you were too terrified to do more than sing, impressed that soldier, stayed in the middle of the positivity even during war, and that’s quite something, one thing we loved about you is that you were funny. i know why you and your dad really got along, it’s because you both had that animal bond. the army changes your perception of life, you loved women, told my grandma that she would be your wife. i heard about your intense honesty, your relationship with animals makes up for your lack of a relationship with me. you were happy riding that horse in the dirt, paps by your side. you always saw both the best and the worst of it all, so grandpa, this is why i wrote this song; in order to keep your memory strong. this song may resemble many things; power, peace, love, and lasting memory. it’s the important key to your personality, it’s our bond that never turned into a reality. i really hope that honestly you will hear this because it’s the truth, really. it’s my confession to the expression that you’re looking down from heaven, i hope that you can hear me and receive this powerful blessing. you died right before i was born, not even giving me a chance to take time to mourn. so please just let me sit here and tell you this pop, after our missed friendship, after all the things we lost; you’re a dead ghost, that’s like an afterthought, but you’re coming back alive right to the spot where my heart is. i love you, and that’s all i got

- ricor lyrics

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