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rhett and link - the flightless bird song lyrics

[verse 1: rhett and steve and link]

here we see the bearded cardinal
in his native habitat
welcome to the walmart parking lot
coolin’ off beneath the shade
of a ’92 cadillac
could life get any better?
but there’s a sad truth
like a flower that won’t blossom
he’ll never do the one thing
that makes being a bird awesome
unlike his bird brethren
traversing the sky
the bearded cardinal
will never fly

[spoken: rhett and steve and link]
excuse me
i’m sorry, i couldn’t help but overhear
did you say i can’t fly?
yeah..
you’re the bearded cardinal, a flightless bird
y’know what?
i’m cool with that
in fact, i see it as a positive
i wanna sing about it

[verse 2: rhett & link]
i got a big beak
feathers on fleek
i keep cool in the heat by flapping my vestigial wings
i’m down to earth
in fact i hate heights
who needs working wings when you’re this fly?
i regurgitate meals
into my kids’ mouths
i never get sucked into a jet or hit the side of a house
here comes a shopping cart
at a pretty high speed
if i was a bettin’ bird i’d bet the cart’s about to hit me

[outro: all and steve]
ohhhhhhhhh!
it did
ohhhhhhhhh!
it hurts
ohhhhhhhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
i’m dead

- rhett and link

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