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reginald pikedevant - a belated introduction lyrics
judging from certain accounts and reports
it seems i’ve committed a faux pas of sorts:
i wrote what i thought was a rather nice song
but it wasn’t too long before things went wrong
i thought that displaying a card with my name
would suffice to _ssign me the credit or blame
but i must concede
i was was shocked indeed
to learn that quite a few people simply cannot read
for i’m not a professor who raps about tea
nor a gentleman rhyming about vd
so pull up a chair; have a seat by the fire
and learn about sir reginald pikedevant, esquire
i don’t want my career to revolve around a gear
though i _ssure you, the sentiment was quite sincere
but i’m not a curmudgeon seeking to bludgeon
anything that works me up into high dudgeon
i’m a gentleman of leisure, living for pleasure
i call my home heartsease, for mirth is my measure
i’m a science fan
a renaissance man
i “drop phat beats” with finesse and élan
i’m a cylinder jockey, just a little bit c_cky
i dress à la mode in brown, tan and khaki
my t__th may be crooked, my skin rather pallid
but i’ve got more rhymes than roxburghe has ballads
now just let me mention and call your attention
to my expertise in the art of invention
a thousand contraptions i’ll quickly devise
though some are beyond my sk!ll to realise
with lord john roxton i sought a lost world
and i left on malacandra my flag unfurled
mr. peasley and i explored ancient halls
but mad’moiselle blanc_sec won’t return my calls
my musical oeuvre may not be prodigious
but i’ve been acclaimed by sources prestigious
chap hop, barbershop, rackett and organ
i diversify more than j.p. morgan
i need no gang sign to show that i’m steampunk
i throw up no tags, nor any of that bunk
i don proper hats, drink appropriate beer
and i’ll wear tweed but i shan’t wear sheer
i do what i can to be a cl_ss act
though i fear detractors shall ever detract
i pay them no heed, they’re not worth my time
except to disparage them briefly in rhyme
all this braggadocio seems rather gauche
perhaps i should stop, ere i earn your reproach
so i hope that you’ve learned all that you desire
about sir reginald pikedevant, esquire
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