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redman - pain in da ass stewardess (skit) lyrics
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lady on intercom:
ladies and gentleman we’ll be landing in about 20 minutes, ascending into kennedy airport. the time is 5:20 am and were a little bit early this evening. the weather in new york is 55 degrees and there is a light rain falling. thank you so much for flying with us, i hope you has a pleasent flight. we’ll be coming around and collecting your blankets and headphones. so please fasten your seatbelts and store your carry on luggage in the seat beneath your…-ss (laughs).
stewardess:
sir can you please fasten your seatbelt were preparing for landing.
redman:
aight, imma do it right now i just gotta get something out of this bag.
stewardess:
sir can you please put your seat in the upright position and store your tray table away.
redman:
alright hold on i told you imma do it right in one minute i just got to get something out of this bag.
stewardess:
sir can you please turn off that walkmen i’ve been telling you this intire flight it’s against federal regulations to use a walk
redman:
hold on, hold on, hold on, i ain’t trying to hear that, listen i told you i was going to do it in one minute, your starting to get on my f-cking nerves, get the f-ck outta here aight.
stewardess:
sir is there a problem?
redman:
-sighs- yeah there’s a problem.
stewardess:
do i have to alert the captain?
redman:
yeah…alert your captain this (gun c-cks)get the f-ck over here!
(stewardess screams) come here (stewardess still screaming)take me to the f-cking captain!
(door opens, stewardess still screaming)
who’s in charge here?
captain:
i am
(gun fires)
redman:
i said who’s in charge here?
co-pilot:
uh, you are.
redman:
alright then, now turn this m-th-rf-cker around!
redman talking on intercom:
is this sh-t on?…ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. this is a m-th-r-f-cking stickup. we’ll be cruzing at an alt-tude of 30,000 feet. i want your wallet, your cash, your jewels, your rings, baby rings, m-th-rf-cking shoes, sneakers, socks, i want the credit cards the welfare cards i even want your f-cking freaking flyer mouse. i’m telling you the first m-th-rf-cker to move is gonna catch this m-th-rf-cker. now send the bag around….thank you.
(people start screaming)
redman:
m-th-rf-cker didn’t i say don’t move
(gun fires 4 time)
(plane starts falling)
(people still screaming)
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