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recd - draw lyrics

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vigilante: howdy, varmint

vigilante throws a crate on the ground containing a revolver and looks seriously at peppino

vigilante: draw

peppino: hold on…i’ve_a never met you before in my life. why are you fighting_a me?

vigilante: lemme educate ya befar i exterminate ya

(song begins)

vigi: i was born one mornin’, a scr_ppy lil’ scr_p of a curd

jec: (a cr_ppy scr_ppy little scr_p of a curd)

vigi: learned to sharp_shoot sharp cheddar ‘fore i learned a single word!

jec: (to this day he barely reads any words)

vigi: jes a_rarin’ to fight, day and night, i defended the hеrd!

jec: (oo_de_lay_hee!)

vigi: see, my gran’pa done raised mе to help him in tendin’ the farm

jec: (i raised that boy to help me tendin’ the farm)

vigi: and i knew i’d need strength to protect all them critters from harm

jec: (the boy insisted that the farm’d be harmed)

vigi: so i worked on my aim, and i went without rest

to ensure that my sk!lls would be up to the test

if an outlaw attempted to wrangle our nest, i’d be armed!

jec: (yoo_de_lay_hee!)

vigi: a year of trainin’ later, and this cheese has finely aged

to a rootin’ tootin’ cowboy with his nemesis on_stage

you’re a rotten, dirty varmint, and you know as well as i

just one of us can leave this set alive…
vigi:

draw! c’mon, gimme h_ll

lemme hear yer wild yell

i’ve bided my time just waitin’ fer my shot

so come and get it while it’s hot!

draw! this ain’t worth a hoot

if’n i’m the only one that shoots

you can’t escape the longh_rn of the law…

so git armed an’ draw!

peppino: well…if this is how it’s gonna be…i’m_a gonna defend myself!

peppino grabs the gun

vigi: yes…yes! a fair fight! let’s rassle!

vigi:
i’m a dynamite fighter, these boots are made fer breakin’ yer molars

jec: (he wears a pair of boots to shatter your molars)

vigi: got a six_shot revolver string_loaded with fresh gorgonzoler!

jec: (he got a gun stuffed full o’ gorgonzola)

vigi: with my deluge of dairy, beware me, hit like a steamroller!
jec: (oo_de_lay_hee!)

vigi: a rebel like me ain’t content with the simpler tasks
jec: (ain’t equipped to face the simpler tasks)

vigi: i don’t harvest crops, and milkin? son, don’t even ask!
jec: (he’d never milk the cows whenever i asked)

vigi: rather take on the dirtiest varmints around
one by one, git ‘r done, knock the criminals down
celebrated, the toughest cowpoke in the town, tap the cask!

jec: (yoo_de_lay_hee!)

vigi: thank cheesus crust that pizza feller went an’ clued me in

that you’re the reason fer my ghostly, floatin last_of_kin…

peppino:

he lied to you! you’ve_a been deceived, you formaggio fool!

i didn’t touch that geezer, that’s not_a cool!

vigi: hogwash!

draw! there’s h_ll ta pay

fer the loads o’ laws ya done betrayed!

how do ya even get up in the morn

yer so evil, wish ya never been born!

draw! this is my time

to finally convict a crime

i’ was mad befar, but this is the final straw…

so face me an’ draw!

peppino: i’m_a innocent, i tell you! all i ever did on that_a farm was get dragged around by a crazy_a chicken!

vigi.: you released mort the chicken?!

peppino: yeah? why does that_a matter??? it’s just a chicken!!!

vigilante:

our farm was doin’ fine despite ol’ gran’paw’s passin’ on

til that mort feller started leadin’ chicks off of our lawn…

we hired up a pizzard to bind ‘im to the well

mah farm is ruined if ya broke the spell…

peppino: oh, marone…

vigi:

draw! twenty paces south

let fate decide how things turn out

on the signal, pull the trigger ‘n pray

yer forgiven on yer judgement day

draw! i’m sweatin’ too

but i’ll be certain once i’m through

i’ve gotten vengeance for me and mah gran’pa…

3, 2, 1 _ draw!

_gunshots_

vigilante is hit. there’s a hole in him

vigi: urrrgh…bury me with my…muenster…

peppino: you’re_a lump of_a cheese. can’t you just_a refill that hole?

vigi instantly recovers, filling his bullet hole with cheese

vigi: oh

jec: go on, thank the feller, son

vigi: thank him? ain’t this the varmint what laid you low, gran’pappy john?

jec:.: i…uh…actually just got kicked by a cow while i was milkin’ it

vigi: what?! why didn’t ya tell me sooner?!

jec:.: well, ya seemed so excited to finally be a hero…

peppino: i told_a you i was innocent!

vigi: ughh…i guess we’re even, ya vermicelli varmint. take mah key an’ i’ll git along

vigi throws his key at peppino’s feet and slimes away into the sunset

peppino: but…your farm is_a ruined! where will you_a go?

vigi: heh heh. wherever this dusty ol’ country road takes meeeeeeeeeeee—

peppino looks down as vigilante breaks through the fake sunset and falls from the tower. john e cheese looks embarassedly on

jec: i tell ya, pizza man, that boy ain’t right

- recd lyrics

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