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randy kaplan - the ladybug without spots lyrics

[verse 1: randy kaplan]
well i was home the other day eatin’ watermelon
spittin’ out the pits into a little dish like this:
ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt
and when the dish was filled to the very top with watermelon seeds
and the watermelon was eaten all the way down to the rind
i got up to make a trip to the compost pile
but before i could go very far, i noticed a giant, red bug come to alight on my windowsill
it looked just like a ladybug, a big one to be sure, but she had no spots
that’s right, she was completely dеvoid of polka_dots

[chorus: randy kaplan]
and she looked like a brick of chеrry pez
and she looked like the felt on my fez
and she looked like a square of cinnamon gum
and she looked like a raspberry cobbler crumb
she looked like the pedal of a red, red rose
(or like the reflector pedal of my bicycle?) i suppose
she looked like a toenail painted red
she looked like my sunburnt bald head
she looked just like a red ink blotch
she was a ladybug without spots

[verse 2: randy kaplan, ladybug]
she said, “yeah, yeah, what are you looking at?
i know i don’t got no spots
don’t look like my family or my friends, or my sisters or my brother
i searched the earth from one end to the other
looking for spots and i just don’t know what i’m gonna d_”
and then she saw my dish of watermelon seeds
and she said, “hey, i got an idea!
why don’t you glue those seeds onto my back?
and then i’ll look like everybody else!”
i said, “first of all, those seeds aren’t even ladybug spot shape!
they look like footb_lls, they’re kinda oblong in dimension
and second of all, even though you’re big, you’re not big enough
there’s only gonna be one or two of those that fit on your back
and third of all_”
she said “it doesn’t matter, glue ’em on!”
and so i opened my drawer and i took out the glue
and i glued some seeds on her back, and then i glued some more
and when i was all done i looked at her, she looked up at me
and then i held up a hand_held mirror just so she could see
what it was that she looked like
[chorus: randy kaplan]
and she looked like a freckly face
and she looked like black stars in red sp_ce
and she looked like a polka dot dress
she looked like (she had the chickenpox?) yes!
she looked like a pair of crimson dice
she looked like, well, a watermelon slice
she looked like a round checkerboard
she looked like a leopard (oh lord!)
she asked for dots and that’s what she got
she was a ladybug with spots
[verse 3: ladybug, randy kaplan]
“alright, i got spots now
look, i look like my siblings, hmhm” (ptt, ptt)
“ooh” (ptt, ptt, ptt)
“ooh, look, i can still fly” (ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt)
“mm, spots” (ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt)
“mm, spots” (ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt, ptt)

[verse 4: randy kaplan, ladybug]
well she thanked me and she flew out my window into the rain
and as she got further away she looked just like the little red caboose of a train
but the glue i used musta not been very strong
‘cause those seeds slid off her back onto my back lawn
and i sang this song:
“up gonna sprout watermelon tree
there’ll be watermelons, they’ll be just for me, yeah
up gonna sprout” (“oh yeah”) “watermelon tree, yeah” (“watermelon tree”)
“there’ll be watermelons just for me” (“all watermelons for me”)
i said, “up gonna sprout watermelon tree” (“oh, what happened to my spots?”)
“there’ll be watermelons just for me, for free, yeah” (“they_ they must’ve slid off)
oh, oh, there they are, down there on the grass
he was right, they do look like little footb_lls! ooh”
well as she flew away without those spots on her back
she looked just like herself, that’s an undeniable fact
she didn’t look like her sisters or brothers or family or friends
but she looked just the way she was meant to be
different and unique (“thank you”)
[chorus: randy kaplan, ladybug, randy kaplan & ladybug]
and she looked like a slice of strawberry cake
and she looked like a red pepper flake
and she looked like one of them little laser dots (huh?)
and she looked like a cherry stem knot
she looked like a cough drop in the palm of your hand
she looked like the flag of j_pan
(she looked like) without spots she was no smoke and all flame
(she looked like) you’d never be able to spot her at a st. louis cardinals’ game
she looked just like a single red hot
she was a ladybug without spots
“i’m a ladybug without spots
without spots, mhm”

- randy kaplan

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