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random encounters entertainment - legends of zelda: tales of the wind waker lyrics
link:
i’ve sailed the seas
on the breath of the ocean breeze!
battled some flaming keese
fought my way through the tower of gods!
met the fairy queen
a fat little man in green!
rode the winds through the sky…
fed a fish-man guy!
won tons of rupees!
patron: hey zelda!
link: it’s link
patron: tell us about that one time you found the wand of gamelon
link: i don’t know what you’re talking about
i smashed a thousand pots!
and fired some cannon shots!
i thwarted all ganon’s plots!
just using a sword and a wand! (yeah!)
made a rito friend!
while tugging valoo’s rear end!
learned a sword-spin technique!
found a boat that speaks
and turns into a-
patron: it’s the dread pirate tetra!!!
tetra: milkshake. …what are you looking at, fairy boy?
link: (quiet) well excuse me, princess…
gillian: miss tetra, how has your expedition been going?
tetra:
we set sail for greatfish isle
but were caught inside a storm!
where a giant squid attacked us
and forced our ship ash-r-!
we stole bombs for all our cannons!
then set out into the sea!
where a thousand sharks were waiting-
which we blew to smithereens!
we were caught inside a cyclone!
but we managed to get free!
we pulled up a hefty treasure
with a piece of heart or three!
then we stumbled on a ghost ship (hoo! ha!)
based on phases of the moon! (hoo! ha!)
when we ravaged all it had, its hulls (hoo! ha!)
were full of gold doubloons! (hoo! ha!)
link: oh, weird. all i found in it was a treasure chart
patron: hooray for zelda!
tetra and link: it’s link!
gillian: why, mister ganondorf. you look like you’re having a pretty… average day…
ganondorf: i’ll take one of everything. (pointing) on that guy’s tab
gillian: what’s bothering you, g?
ganondorf:
i’ve got
forty guys dead
and i don’t know why-
all my treasures are gone-
all my plans are awry!
someone messed up my bird-
all these girls have gone free
and there’s a snotty green twerp-
link: hey, you looking’ for me?
ganondorf: what the-
patron: go zelda!
all: it’s “link!”
i took my sister back!
i need her pointy ears!
you took her by mistake!
hey, it’s been a hundred years!
…sheesh, get with the times…
go ride your stupid boat!
go change into a pig!
go slash a dozen cuccos!
shave your beard! ride some birds!
bleach your skin! learn some words!
just prepare for owning!
the wind is blowing…
now…!
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