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polygonizeblue - under all the water lyrics

[part : i]

[intro]
grief, life
that’s all what it is

[verse]
best friends at school will leave
all of my emotions
my worries that i try to put under a sleeve
can’t remember any of these notions
i don’t know anything or how to feel
is any of this real?
i don’t have a counselor anymore
try to do some stuff that won’t get me bored
atleast, i’ll have some freedom
though, i’m not free from my boredom
i leave myself in a pit that i feel emotionless
all of my nerve endings are senseless
can’t sleep, i feel restless
count my grief as endless
i’m sorry, i’m spilling out my heart
all of my dreams shattered and fell apart

[part : ii]
[verse]
i’m by myself, learn my own way
in a lacuna that’s never ending of dismay
can’t control my anger, no more
i just lean my emotions back and forth
hid all of my fears behind the back door
ask me, i just live in the north
try to mix up words but i fail
don’t think i have a future to prevail
feel like i’d die from an overdose
got my family i be holdin’ close
i’m not sure if i have bipolar disorder
not worth going to the end of the border
people wastin’ stuff like pollution
don’t have a good evolution
my second thoughts, i had to process
felt like my past was a box that was a mess
no, i’m not a king of wealth
i don’t count anything but myself
i’m by myself, learn my own way
in a lacuna that’s never ending of dismay
can’t control my anger, no more
i just lean my emotions back and forth
hid all of my fears behind the back door
ask me, i just live in the north
try to mix up words but i fail
don’t think i have a future to prevail
feel like i’d die from an overdose
got my family i be holdin’ close
i’m not sure if i have bipolar disorder
not worth going to the end of the border
people wastin’ stuff like pollution
don’t have a good evolution
[part : iii]

[instrumental]

[part : iv]

[verse]
holdin’ my grandpa’s hands
cause i always cry when i see them
i felt like he always had plans
but his memories decided to go numb
i couldn’t hold in all my grief
all that fell at that time was just a leaf
i live in a solace, cause of my best friend
i couldn’t hold back and defend
all i could see with him was the end
i didn’t even have to pretend
i still remember those days with him
chances of me breaking down isn’t slim
couldn’t see him, y’know who
i can say, that forgiveness is a virtue
when he died, i felt lightheaded
i hope all of his memories were embedded
i never hit rock bottom this hard
i feel like i got the rest of my life scarred
probably played the wrong card
now i’m in my shed crying, in the yard
[part : v]

[instrumental]

- polygonizeblue

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