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polarboiyeahz - personalien lyrics
[part one]
personalien
[verse]
percieve me as a f_ck up, you think i’m not trying?
this work just isn’t enough, why can’t i stop crying?
it’s barely nine am and i’ve dug myself a hole
ask about the moves i’m making, i don’t even know
often contemplate the routes i could’ve went down
i’m cautious, i’ve been careful about my breaths now
highly meticulous, how did it even crack down?
been conscious for 2 hours and already wanna back out
anxious, half crazy, and both my hands shaking
antsy, scared of failing, my bad if i act lazy
cuts around my wrist like i fist cat lady
running laps around my mind, i did a fast eighty
i’m a walking contradiction, you can’t praise me
stop talkin’, come and listen as i’m detereorating
it comes with time but, what’s with thе d_mn pacing?
god has me f_cked up, all them clashеs with satan
i do my best, i do my best, but you can’t save him
i did the test, i did the tests, what’s education?
i’m stressed and i’m stressed, it’s what i know best
i’m not hopeless but nowadays i’m home less
less time to propel myself upward
no sir, rock bottom is where i’m from sir
don’t waste my time, i’m landmines at days sir
losing interest, my favorite past time is gray sir, uh
turn me down? i’ll turn around and burn the ground
i tend not to have patience with the surface now
call me anything, whether they’re verbs or nouns
because you play with me and i’ll show you a circus clown, uh
i play the fool with the same mind used to rule you
i can’t lose hope, my composure is cruel too
can’t give up, pretend it’s just a hiccup
my skull on the pavement so it’s hard for me to get up
i dust a million sins off my fists then i rinse
on broken trust, i tend to tremble and reminisce
until both of my lungs resemble megaliths
this isn’t living but, what else do we call it then?
love and pain all pales in comparison
h_ll, this is something in a different vein, miles below heavensent
yeah, yeah
[part two]
i.h.n.m.a.i.m.s
i have no mouth, and i must scream, yeah
[verse 2]
spend time like i’m broke, tryna live life like i’m rich
hypochondriac bro, why’s your mind on my d_ck? (hey)
lumps on my psyche, the cancer that wipes you quick
it’s hard to sleep some nights, like i lie on piles of brick (brick)
it’s homies i grew up with, i’m not tryna bury
i’m tryna live a long one, who said that i’m in a hurry? (who?)
anxious about the present, i don’t remember dates (dates)
everyday’s a blessing but i don’t remember prayin’ (ay, ay, ay, ay)
tomorrow’s not promised, there may never be a witness (ay, ay, ay, ay)
sins of the father make kids pay everyday like incest (ay, ay, ay, ay)
the rhythmic tick of time dips in a nick of instance (ay, ay, ay, ay)
god, don’t let me cross this picket line, i’d get lit in an instant
looking out the window cuz i know the world is mine
jfk out the coupe, got a lot on my mind
tryna do this right, scents of revenge in my vents again
hit your head like i’m tryna test my strength with it
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