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phora - father lyrics

yeah, alone in this room, just me and my conscious
wondering if the lords really watching cause
if he is then tell me why i’ve been going through h-ll
lately and i just don’t feel like heavens an option
look, i feel the guilt pouring in
i wonder if he feels my pain
cause everyday its getting more intense
moms could barely afford the rent
had to do some shady sh-t to survive
but i just hope the lord forgives
is he forgiving like they say he is
is there anyway away from this
is there even anyplace where kids go when they p-ss away
i heard somebody say there is
but i don’t know who to trust no more
and grandma said i really shouldn’t cuss no more
but i just tell her “i’mma try” and knowing i’mma stay the same
i try to change so many times, i can’t adjust no more

sh-t, but father when will i see more smiles and frowns
where do i go when i’m buried deep in the ground
father why is the world never holding me up
i feel like i’m always letting you down
i feel like i’m always letting you down

i feel like i’m always letting you down
i often wonder bout who i’m a disappointment to
but no matter how good you do, they still point at you
sometimes i don’t know how i get through the day
cause even though you see me smile, it don’t mean i’m okay
i just don’t wanna be bothered with questions
father why these cats always causing problems
i’ve been constantly stressing
sh-t, i wonder if he’s even listening to me
searching for answers, but ain’t n-body giving em’ to me
plus my girl needs attention, i can feel the tension
my pops is on a drinking binge
and he’s on the break of an intervention
but he taught me so much with only his actions
what i learned from him, he would never imagine
if there was something that i would want him to know
every mistake he made, it was all meant to happen
no time wasted cause i learned from it all
made me a better man inside, made me learn when i fall
there’s always a reason to get back up on your feet
so if you hear me lord, i hope you could answer this for me

father when will i see more smiles and frowns
where do i go when i’m buried deep in the ground
father why is the world never holding me up
i feel like i’m always letting you down
i feel like i’m always letting you down

- phora

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