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phoenix axel - i swear im alive lyrics

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i don’t know who i am anymore
i want to be alive
but i know
i’m just a second thought

i’ll hide away
crying to see
if anyone will care
if i should even be here

why aren’t i the same
as i was yesterday?
i can’t seem to find
the girl that i knew in the mirror anymore
and i swear that i just want to feel alive
i’ll scream how i want to be alive
but my hand will cover my mouth
so that i can block all the sound
so that only i can hear
in the midst of the night
i won’t bother you
in the midst of the night

mama, can’t you see
i am still the same as i was yesterday
i know you think i’m gone
i promise i haven’t changed as much
as you think i havе

and i’m pretty sure
all my friends will abandon mе
in the next few years
i won’t change
i’m pretty sure i’m a side character
in all their movies
too insignificant to learn about their fears
too present to ignore so they
write me
into the script so that i can
learn about their tears
i’ll collapse on the ground
crying how i want to be alive
when can i finally be alive?
when will i feel
alive?

- phoenix axel

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