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original broadway cast of little shop of horrors - dentist! lyrics
[orin]
when i was younger, just a bad little kid
my mama noticed funny things i did
like shooting puppies with a b.b. gun
i’d poison guppies and when i was done
i’d find a p_ssycat and bash in its head
that’s when my mama said:
[crystal & ronette & chiffon, spoken]
what did she say?
[orin]
she said, “my boy, i think some day
you’ll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay!”
[orin & (crystal & ronette & chiffon)]
you’ll be a dentist (you’ll be a dentist)
you have a talent for causing things pain (pain!)
son, be a dentist (son, be a dentist)
people will pay you to be inhumane (inhumane)
your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
and teaching would suit you still less
[orin & crystal & ronette & chiffon]
son, be a dentist
you’ll be a success
[ronette]
here he is, folks, the leader of the plaque
[chiffon]
watch him suck up that gas!
oh my god!
[crystal]
he’s a dentist and he’ll never, ever be any good
[crystal & ronette & chiffon]
who wants their t__th done by the marquis de sade?
oh, that hurts!
i’m not numb!
[orin]
aw, shut up. open wide _ here i come!
[orin & (crystal & ronette & chiffon)]
i am your dentist (dentist, goodness gracious)
and i enjoy the career that i picked
i am your dentist (fitting braces)
and i get off on the pain i inflict (you really love it)
when i start extracting those molars (don’t try it)
you girls will be screaming like holy rollers
[crystal & ronette & chiffon]
dentist!
[orin & (crystal & ronette & chiffon)]
and though it may cause my patients distress (distress!)
somewhere in heaven above me, i know, i know that my mama’s proud of me
’cause i’m a dentist _ and a success!
(spoken)
say ah!
[crystal & ronette & chiffon, spoken]
ahh
[orin, spoken]
say ah!
[crystal & ronette & chiffon, spoken]
ahhh!
[orin]
now… spit!
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